'Tis the Season
It's begun. And I am made to listen to eight hours of Christmas music a day. Even better my store manager wants me to say, "Merry Christmas", to all our customers. In my next life, I want to live in a non-Christian country so I don't have to put up with this crap. Argh... Christians. It's been awhile since I've lit them up, but 'tis the season.
I hate Christmas for a variety of reasons. I am most certainly not a fan of Christianity, but I can't help but despise the bastardization of the religion. It pains me and I know that's just weird. In my esteemed opinion, Christmas should be a religious holiday, like Ramadan or Yom Kippur. However, those fucking Christians had to go and screw up their holiday. It's their fault. Let's place the blame where it belongs. The Jews didn't fuck up Christmas, nor did the heathen Pagans. No, this one is all on the Christians (well, except the really weird ones that don't celebrate any holidays at all). They took a nice quiet celebration of their savior's birth and fed it steroids. Now it's this big behemoth world-wide event of mass spending that retail and credit card companies rely upon to stay in the black. News flash - Jesus is dead. He doesn't need a gift basket from Hickory Farms or a new Wii with Resort Sports games. He might like a card, a birthday card, but that's even a stretch. I think Jesus might just like us to pretend to like each other for a day and spread a little love. Instead we (OK, not me) buy each other all kinds of crap we don't need and go into massive amounts of debt. Where's the religion in that?
And what about all those Christmas decorations? Lights, blow up Santas, mechanical reindeer, and lights and more lights. I'm fairly certain that this tradition is perpetuated behind the scenes by your local electric company. Go green? My ass. Let's burn some more coal so we can show our brightly lit devotion to Jesus, our savior (my apologies to those using wind energy. You rock, but still...), and make a little money for SWEPCO. So the most decorated house on the block loves Jesus more? I don't think that's how it works. News flash - Jesus is dead. He can't see all those lights. And if He could, do you really think He'd be impressed? I'm going to go with a decisive NO.
So, yeah... Happy Birthday, Jesus. You wanted a small birthday dinner and you got a surprise party at Yankee Stadium for 100,00 of your closest friends. Your people, dude, your people. I had nothing to do with it. Nothing. Unfortunately, my conscientious objection is like a grain of sand in the Sahara. Still, I feel better for it.
I hate Christmas for a variety of reasons. I am most certainly not a fan of Christianity, but I can't help but despise the bastardization of the religion. It pains me and I know that's just weird. In my esteemed opinion, Christmas should be a religious holiday, like Ramadan or Yom Kippur. However, those fucking Christians had to go and screw up their holiday. It's their fault. Let's place the blame where it belongs. The Jews didn't fuck up Christmas, nor did the heathen Pagans. No, this one is all on the Christians (well, except the really weird ones that don't celebrate any holidays at all). They took a nice quiet celebration of their savior's birth and fed it steroids. Now it's this big behemoth world-wide event of mass spending that retail and credit card companies rely upon to stay in the black. News flash - Jesus is dead. He doesn't need a gift basket from Hickory Farms or a new Wii with Resort Sports games. He might like a card, a birthday card, but that's even a stretch. I think Jesus might just like us to pretend to like each other for a day and spread a little love. Instead we (OK, not me) buy each other all kinds of crap we don't need and go into massive amounts of debt. Where's the religion in that?
And what about all those Christmas decorations? Lights, blow up Santas, mechanical reindeer, and lights and more lights. I'm fairly certain that this tradition is perpetuated behind the scenes by your local electric company. Go green? My ass. Let's burn some more coal so we can show our brightly lit devotion to Jesus, our savior (my apologies to those using wind energy. You rock, but still...), and make a little money for SWEPCO. So the most decorated house on the block loves Jesus more? I don't think that's how it works. News flash - Jesus is dead. He can't see all those lights. And if He could, do you really think He'd be impressed? I'm going to go with a decisive NO.
So, yeah... Happy Birthday, Jesus. You wanted a small birthday dinner and you got a surprise party at Yankee Stadium for 100,00 of your closest friends. Your people, dude, your people. I had nothing to do with it. Nothing. Unfortunately, my conscientious objection is like a grain of sand in the Sahara. Still, I feel better for it.
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