Like Any Other Day

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I've given it a little thought this morning and I'm pretty sure. I'm just about over the holiday. Yes, I'm thankful. Blah, blah, blah. But the rest just has to go. I'm done and it's not even 10am. What am I going to do today? As little as possible. No family. No celebration. Not that I wasn't invited. I was. And just as I do every year, I turned down each and every invitation. I know my friends mean well, but spending holidays with other people's families really sucks. It makes me sad for something I can't have and likely never will have. I'm cool with that. I face it every day and I don't feel sorry for myself. Ever. It is what I chose and therefore a fact of my life. However, holidays can be a little rough if I don't handle them properly.

So how do I handle them? I stay away from those situations that bring stress, anxiety, and sadness. Usually this means being alone. I go about my day as if it was a normal day off. I drink coffee, write, workout, eat, drink rum. If I have the money, I go out to eat. If I don't, I just stay at home. Does it make me sad knowing everyone else in the world is celebrating with family? I guess if I thought about it, it would. That's why I don't think. If I do anything, I rationalize that most people are miserable with their families - they don't get along and maybe even hate each other. In that case, I become the lucky one. I get to be around the person I like most in the world - me.

Last Thanksgiving I went away from the alone thing and invited a friend to join me for dinner. I almost didn't do it; I really wanted to just be alone, but at the last minute I called him. We met at Cracker Barrel early (like 11:30am) and then proceeded to drink the day away together. Lonely together is better than lonely alone every time. This year, I might be spending the day with one of my favorite people, another orphan in need of company. I think it'll be ok.

I'm sure it's not much of a life from the outside looking in. Spending holidays alone (or with a well-chosen friend) probably doesn't sound like much fun to most people. Holidays are for family, whether they like their family or not. I like my family just fine, but distance and my career in retail prevent us from ever spending holidays together. After so many years, I'm used to it. Holidays are simply another day. And I'm pretty much over this one. Time to take a walk, shower, eat, and drink a little rum. Just like any other day.

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