(More Or Less) Agenda-Free

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I have a crush on a girl. It took me by surprise as most crushes do. One moment I barely noticed her and the next I did. A lot. She's over thirty, quirky but not weird, pretty but not gorgeous, strong but not overbearing, and straight with an 'I've done chicks vibe'. She's not a Facebook friend, nor a blog reader which is how I'm learning to prefer my women. I can't say I'll invite her to be my 'friend' in the official social networking sense and I most definitely will not suggest my blogs. That said, I do plan to ask her out for coffee or a drink soon. Seriously, it's just a beverage. Not a ring, a date, or sex. I don't have an agenda; I just like hanging out with pretty girls I'm crushing on. Ok, that sounds a little like an agenda but I promise it's not. Not really. I don't plan for us to become anything more than friends. 'More than friends' means 'agenda'. 'Friends' means 'friends'. It's perfectly innocent. Unless she decides she's also crushing on me. Which is highly (highly) unlikely. It happened once in my life; it probably won't happen again. Not that it wouldn't be cool if it did.

So, for the moment, I'm content to enjoy the early moments of my crush, when all things are possible even if they are highly improbable. Once I ask her to hang out, the purity will go away. At that point, it could go either way. She could say 'No' or 'Yes'. She could like me like me or she could just want to be friends. I could start to like her more or I could start to like her less. It could turn into a 'date' or stay a 'beverage'. Anything, everything, and nothing are possible. Right now. It's truly the beauty of the recently acknowledged and as yet unrequited crush. The beginning is always the best, even if the end results in a few pounds lost on The Break Up Diet.

That's why for right now I'm going to bask in the glow of my new-found crush and contemplate exactly how I can get her phone number and/or ask her out. Without coming off all kinds of creepy, I mean. I want to seem agenda-free because I am (more or less) agenda-free. Everyone who knows me knows I like pretty girls, especially seemingly straight ones who don't read my blog. What's the worst that can happen? She says, 'no'? Or 'yes'? Oy. I'm supposed to be fearless, dammit. Eh... I think I'll enjoy the here and now for awhile. There's plenty of time to contemplate the potential realities later.

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