Decisions, Decisions
I just ate a bowl of Multi-Grain Cheerios. I know that may seem like an odd opening statement. I'm sure many readers are thinking and/or saying out loud, 'Wow, really? Who the fuck cares, Stacee?' I can't say there's any purpose to sharing my late night snacking habits, which are usually a lot more non-existent. You see, I'm not a big believer in snacking. I know I'm supposed to eat multiple, multiple times a day, which would include 'meals' that I would call 'snacks, but I'm not any good at it because I just don't like to snack. I like to meal. In fact, I eat three of them a day every day. I give myself bonus points for ALWAYS eating breakfast (even when I have a pumpkin spice donut which if I ate as a snack would count against me, but as long as it's a meal, I can rationalize it's ok, as long as I don't do it very often). So many people skip breakfast entirely or add extra sugar to their coffee and call it breakfast. I think I'm on the right side of wrong on that deal.
So, what's with my late night bowl of Cheerios? Well, I was hungry and as I stood perusing the pantry with a tablespoon of ice cream, I decided they were probably the lesser of several evils. And hell... They were the multigrain kind. They have extra vitamins or fiber or something else my body needs anyway, don't they? In any case, no matter how you rationalize it, a bowl of Cheerios (of any variety) beats finishing the tub of ice cream (which I honestly considered doing for the briefest of moments). I think I made the right decision.
I've been making a lot of decisions lately. Maybe that's why I mentioned the Cheerios; they were the most humdrum decision I've made in days. My recent decisions are far from earth-shattering and largely invisible to the naked eye, but they've had a substantial impact on me. I don't like change so I'm curious why I hinted to God the other night that I was bored and could go for something different. I immediately retracted my statement, but with God even a split second is too long. I suppose I knew I was fucked right then. I hoped I could hold it off. Alas... God, being God, got His way. Again. And I got to be the dumbass. Again. One of these days, I'm going to learn to keep my spirit silent. You can't even whisper around God. Maybe you can, but I can't. He hears EVERYTHING. It's like the time I flipped off my mom behind her back and she whipped around and said, 'WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?' God apparently has eyes in the back of His head, too. I promise I'm learning, albeit not fast enough.
Decisions, decisions... The good news is that I don't fear change like I used to. I can't say I'm a huge fan yet, but at least I'm not terrified and curled up in the fetal position over it. My faith and my trust in God give me strength and power over my fears. I'm looking forward to some of the changes that are coming (or might be coming); they could very well bring good things my way. Others, however, may require a little time and a lot of Grace before I'm convinced I made the right choice. So, yeah.... Cheerios over ice cream? That was an easy one.
It's like I got on a roll and figured what the hell, let's just change everything. So, what decisions have I made?
* I decided to cut emotional and spiritual ties with my house in Wake Village. As much as I love it, I don't think I'll be moving back to Texarkana any time soon. I asked God to lead the way on this one awhile ago and everything He has shown me indicates that I need to be in Austin. I truly believe my house hasn't sold in the past eighteen months because I wasn't ready to let it go. I'm working very hard to be ready.
* I decided to continue my path of patience with one particular issue I can't discuss here, because it's mine and I want to keep it that way.
* I decided to move into the bigger bedroom. I now have a full-size closet and room for two dressers.
* I decided to pursue a new opportunity at work. Even though I love, love, love my job as paint department supervisor, I am hoping to further my career in Human Resources. I hate to leave such a good gig, but I have to think of the future and what will allow me to advance my career. Once upon a time, I was a damn good HR Manager who loved her job. The role is different now, but I think I still have what it takes be successful.
* I decided to spend my extra tax return money on a used Spin Bike. I've wanted one since the day I first rode one back in 1997. I think it's time. Plus, I've taken too many years (yes, I said years) away from fitness and I need to get dedicated again. My recent health assessment went very well, but that could easily change for the worse if I don't get focused.
* I've decided to focus more on my family. After spending a weekend re-connecting with a sister I haven't seen in twenty years, I realized that it's not too late to change and make family more of a priority.
I'm good. I am. I think it'll all work out ok. I have my faith and I know that there's always Grace, whether it takes a minute or decade to come to light. Thinking positively goes a long way, too. Life will be good. I shall make it so. Well, with a little help from God. And maybe a little luck. Never underestimate the power of thinking you're lucky. Thoughts do become things. I've seen it.
So, what's with my late night bowl of Cheerios? Well, I was hungry and as I stood perusing the pantry with a tablespoon of ice cream, I decided they were probably the lesser of several evils. And hell... They were the multigrain kind. They have extra vitamins or fiber or something else my body needs anyway, don't they? In any case, no matter how you rationalize it, a bowl of Cheerios (of any variety) beats finishing the tub of ice cream (which I honestly considered doing for the briefest of moments). I think I made the right decision.
I've been making a lot of decisions lately. Maybe that's why I mentioned the Cheerios; they were the most humdrum decision I've made in days. My recent decisions are far from earth-shattering and largely invisible to the naked eye, but they've had a substantial impact on me. I don't like change so I'm curious why I hinted to God the other night that I was bored and could go for something different. I immediately retracted my statement, but with God even a split second is too long. I suppose I knew I was fucked right then. I hoped I could hold it off. Alas... God, being God, got His way. Again. And I got to be the dumbass. Again. One of these days, I'm going to learn to keep my spirit silent. You can't even whisper around God. Maybe you can, but I can't. He hears EVERYTHING. It's like the time I flipped off my mom behind her back and she whipped around and said, 'WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?' God apparently has eyes in the back of His head, too. I promise I'm learning, albeit not fast enough.
Decisions, decisions... The good news is that I don't fear change like I used to. I can't say I'm a huge fan yet, but at least I'm not terrified and curled up in the fetal position over it. My faith and my trust in God give me strength and power over my fears. I'm looking forward to some of the changes that are coming (or might be coming); they could very well bring good things my way. Others, however, may require a little time and a lot of Grace before I'm convinced I made the right choice. So, yeah.... Cheerios over ice cream? That was an easy one.
It's like I got on a roll and figured what the hell, let's just change everything. So, what decisions have I made?
* I decided to cut emotional and spiritual ties with my house in Wake Village. As much as I love it, I don't think I'll be moving back to Texarkana any time soon. I asked God to lead the way on this one awhile ago and everything He has shown me indicates that I need to be in Austin. I truly believe my house hasn't sold in the past eighteen months because I wasn't ready to let it go. I'm working very hard to be ready.
* I decided to continue my path of patience with one particular issue I can't discuss here, because it's mine and I want to keep it that way.
* I decided to move into the bigger bedroom. I now have a full-size closet and room for two dressers.
* I decided to pursue a new opportunity at work. Even though I love, love, love my job as paint department supervisor, I am hoping to further my career in Human Resources. I hate to leave such a good gig, but I have to think of the future and what will allow me to advance my career. Once upon a time, I was a damn good HR Manager who loved her job. The role is different now, but I think I still have what it takes be successful.
* I decided to spend my extra tax return money on a used Spin Bike. I've wanted one since the day I first rode one back in 1997. I think it's time. Plus, I've taken too many years (yes, I said years) away from fitness and I need to get dedicated again. My recent health assessment went very well, but that could easily change for the worse if I don't get focused.
* I've decided to focus more on my family. After spending a weekend re-connecting with a sister I haven't seen in twenty years, I realized that it's not too late to change and make family more of a priority.
I'm good. I am. I think it'll all work out ok. I have my faith and I know that there's always Grace, whether it takes a minute or decade to come to light. Thinking positively goes a long way, too. Life will be good. I shall make it so. Well, with a little help from God. And maybe a little luck. Never underestimate the power of thinking you're lucky. Thoughts do become things. I've seen it.
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