There Is That

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I suppose there is that. I'm not sure what 'that' is, but I suppose it's there. Either way, I'm just over it. Whatever 'it' is. Truthfully, here isn't much I'm sure about these days. I know I like me, my job, my house, my writing, and my running.  I miss my dogs, need to rent out my house in Texarkana, and pay off some medical bills. All in all, the Me part of my life is exceptional. The rest? Others? Everything that isn't directly related to me? It's all 'eh' at best. And surprisingly, I'm frighteningly good with it.

I've seldom needed much outside of myself and I'm finding that to be especially true recently. My patience is thin and my tolerance low. I expend so much energy being at the beck and call of my one hundred plus co-workers, running point on a massive roll-out, and decreasing my per mile times while increasing my miles run that I have little left over at the end of the day for anything that isn't food or sleep. Interestingly enough, when I turn my light out at around 8pm, I'm exhausted but fairly encouraged about doing it all over again the next day.

I find myself texting, talking, and even social networking less. I've turned down all kinds of invitations and haven't had a drop of alcohol on a 'school' night in weeks. I am, however, craving a mango margarita. I will have to rectify that, but I'm sure it'll be a quick two-and-out and I'll be home before dark. I just can't anymore. Can't what? Waste energy. I have so little left that it's not worth the risk.

I'm damn close to the edge, but I'm holding my own. I'm disconnected and free. Sure, I'm exhausted and stressed out, but I'm running faster and I sold another book today. The rest will take care of itself. Or it won't. Either way, I don't have the time or energy to worry about it. I suppose there is that.

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