The 'Nonsense' Crush

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Thank God for 'nonsense' crushes. Why are they 'nonsense'? Because the chances of them becoming reality are slim, slim, slim. What's the point? Ah... Good question. Because the chances of them becoming reality are slim, slim, slim. There's safety in make believe. For someone like me, I mean.

I'm better at relationships when they stay safely in my head. It's not that I'm a bad girlfriend; I'm actually pretty decent at it when I'm properly motivated. It's just that I'm so seldom properly motivated. Sure, that says a lot about me but it says even more about the quality of women willing to entertain reality with me. Traditionally my 'dating partners' haven't been the swiftest gazelles in the herd. This means that I tend to get bored quickly and then any motivation I may have once had wanes exponentially.

The women I crush on are usually of slightly higher quality. I suppose if any of them ever gave me the time of day, I'd date them. Fortunately and unfortunately (I'm truly on the fence with this one) it never happens so I never have to test my skills as a girlfriend or worry about actually being in a relationship. See? There's safety in make believe.

My current 'nonsense' crush is married and dangerous on at least one other level (that I refuse to divulge here). Which brings up another benefit - I can walk a fine line and never trip over it. In reality, it'd be a train wreck waiting to happen. In make believe, it's a lot of fun. I get to think interesting thoughts and occupy my mind and I never risk a thing. It's perfect really.

And the only way I allow myself to be 'with' married women these days. Several years back, I vowed I'd never date (or sleep with) another one. I've held up my end of that bargain. Of course, it was about then that I started having these so-called 'nonsense' crushes. In other words, I'm smart, not dead. I can look and imagine all I want as long as I keep on the right side of make believe. I would, however, like it on the record that I am a romantic at heart so I'm not thinking all kinds of dirty, letcherous thoughts.

I'm good with it. Really. I mean given that I'm on the relationship fence and all. The way I see it, it's a win-win. I'm happy and they're happy. I get to have a rocking fantasy life and they have no idea I fantasize about them. Cool, huh?

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