Tequila, Pretty Girls, and Jesus

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"It's not a 'forever' thing and I most definitely refuse to use the word 'never'."

~ Stacee Ann Harris, in 'Sane Sobriety'

I wanted to quote that back to everyone lest they think that I forgot what I wrote just a few days ago. Yes, I said I was choosing sane sobriety over insane drunkenness and I still stand by that. Of course that was before a pretty girl asked me to have drinks (technically she asked me to have lunch, but since it was time for happy hour and I'd already had lunch, I had a margarita...or two. More on that in a minute). As I stated before (and re-stated above), I never say never. I may be sober, but I'm not stupid. A pretty girl is ALWAYS a reason to have a drink, even when taking the Anti-Everything pills (AEPs). They require moderation, not suplication.

So, I had a couple margaritas today. Trust me, that's all I needed. A couple was more than plenty. It's amazing how quickly your tolerance for alcohol goes away when you 'quit' drinking. I'm a cheap buzz these days. I won't say I was drunk. Mostly because I wasn't. And partly because it would be embarrassing to admit that two Happy Hour margaritas at Serrano's got me drunk. I know a few of my closer friends are reading that and wondering if they read it right. Stacee and margaritas? No way. That means Stacee and tequila and Stacee never drinks tequila.

I know, right! Hmm... My apologies to the pretty girls I've had drinks with in the past (and there have been MANY), but I think there's something to this. The past two times I've had drinks I've had margaritas (and thus tequila) and it turned out ok. In the past, tequila has always meant near projectile vomit and apologies the next day. Of course I was smart enough to avoid shots (God knows I love shots...just never tequila as a decisive rule), but I usually avoid tequila all together. On these recent occasions it was Happy Hour and the margaritas were on special. I'm broke and broke necessitates cheap drinks no matter what, even if those drinks involve tequila.

The first time I attributed my success to Jesus. Seriously. A friend and I met for drinks and as we always do, we discussed religion, spirituality, and Jesus. Over a peach margarita. To me, it was nothing less than a miracle. I'm not sure how many that makes for Jesus, but I was happy to be included. I drank tequila and nothing bad happened to me. I was even able to drive home and feel largely sober. Go me. Go Jesus.

For some reason I decided to try it again today. I knew we wouldn't discuss Jesus; she isn't that kind of friend. Yet for some reason, I managed to drink two Happy Hour margaritas (one plain and one mango, both without salt) without mishap. Once again, I was able to drive home and feel largely sober, if a bit buzzed. Tequila minus Jesus? Amazing. So what was the common denominator? It's so simple - pretty girls. On both occasions, I drank with pretty girls. I know I've drank with pretty girls before, but something has changed.

Maybe it's still Jesus. I don't know. He's with me all the time now. That's new within the last month. Maybe I've finally found the right combination - Tequila, pretty girls, and Jesus. This could be revolutionary. My next test is a big one - a Zapata Happy Hour margarita (which is really just one and a half regular margaritas for the price of one) with a pretty girl (or girls) by my side. Oh, and Jesus of course. I can't forget him. Here's hoping I won't be praying to him (and the porcelain god) before the night is over.

No, I'm not reconsidering my position on not drinking. I still think sane sobriety is the best choice. Most days. And really, I stayed within the limits of moderation today. I start to feel icky after two drinks, but as I stated above, I had just two. It's all about keeping my wits about me. And a pretty girl. And Jesus. Truly, you can't go wrong there.

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