My Coming Out Party
I am a Christian. Newly so. I know that may be shocking to some given my tendency to go on and on about the ineptitude, inconsistencies, and downright ugliness of Christians and Christianity. Not to worry. I'm still not a fan of Christianity as a whole. I simply like Jesus and the message of hope he had for all of us. You see, when I finally took a good, hard look at Jesus and found that he and Christianity have little in common, it changed my opinion. All along I'd equated Jesus and Christianity. Yeah, I know. My bad. His followers may suck and their interpretations of his word may be even worse, but I think he's pretty kick ass. And this is why I finally decided to come out as a Christian.
It's not much different than when I came out as a lesbian. There was a small group that breathed a sigh of relief and asked why it took me so long. I'll tell you why - lesbians suck and I equated all lesbians with being a lesbian. Yeah, I know. My bad. But who knew, really? I hesitated for years because I didn't want to be lumped in with the rest. Lesbians by nature are fucked up drama lovers. I am nothing of the kind and certainly didn't want all the assumptions that went along with the label. I knew I loved women, but that was as far as I was willing to go with it. Then one day I decided 'when in Rome'. Of course, I also decided that I was going to be different. I would set a new standard of conduct and avoid as best I could the fucked up drama. I've done pretty well over the years. Sure, I'm an outcast and not well liked among most lesbian groups, but they just can suck it for all I care. I'm me and happy with who I am as a lesbian.
And that's about how it's going to go with me and Christianity. I don't want to be lumped in with the masses. I want to be be different. I will be different. I assure you, I will not become the standard judgemental- holier-than-thou-Bible-thumping-my-way-or-the-highway-to-Hell Christian. I will set a new standard and blaze a trail toward a new kind of Christianity, a Christianity Jesus would want to be a part of. I just don't see Jesus digging what's been done with his word, with God's Word - wars, feast, famine, control, conscription, and above all, a shrinking of spirit. This is blasphemy, in my opinion, and not what Jesus intended. I did not become a Christian to be a party to any of that.
In contrast, my Christianity encourages ALL of us to find the divinity within. We are ALL children of God, much like Jesus was, and because of that we have a divine spark. What we do with that spark is up to us. We can forget about it, dampen it out, and live outside the presence of God. Or we can recognize our divinity, stoke the flame, and live completely within the presence of God. It's our choice. I know what I choose and what my ministry will advocate, but the rest is up to the rest.
So, it's out. I'm out. I'm a Christian. I'm nothing like most of the Christians I've ever met, but I'm calling myself a Christian nonetheless. All that said, don't expect me to celebrate Christmas or Easter, visit Six Flags Over Jesus with any regularity, or stop saying 'fuck'. And I assure you I'm going to keep drinking and sleeping with women. What you can expect are kind words, understanding, and a love for all. This, I feel, is what Jesus intended. It is the essence of my faith and the cornerstone of my (eventual) ministry. Truthfully, it's not a big change. Similar to when I came out as a lesbian, I'm essentially the same as I've always been, just with a new label. Above all, I am Stacee, no more and no less, and as always just happy to be here.
It's not much different than when I came out as a lesbian. There was a small group that breathed a sigh of relief and asked why it took me so long. I'll tell you why - lesbians suck and I equated all lesbians with being a lesbian. Yeah, I know. My bad. But who knew, really? I hesitated for years because I didn't want to be lumped in with the rest. Lesbians by nature are fucked up drama lovers. I am nothing of the kind and certainly didn't want all the assumptions that went along with the label. I knew I loved women, but that was as far as I was willing to go with it. Then one day I decided 'when in Rome'. Of course, I also decided that I was going to be different. I would set a new standard of conduct and avoid as best I could the fucked up drama. I've done pretty well over the years. Sure, I'm an outcast and not well liked among most lesbian groups, but they just can suck it for all I care. I'm me and happy with who I am as a lesbian.
And that's about how it's going to go with me and Christianity. I don't want to be lumped in with the masses. I want to be be different. I will be different. I assure you, I will not become the standard judgemental- holier-than-thou-Bible-thumping-my-way-or-the-highway-to-Hell Christian. I will set a new standard and blaze a trail toward a new kind of Christianity, a Christianity Jesus would want to be a part of. I just don't see Jesus digging what's been done with his word, with God's Word - wars, feast, famine, control, conscription, and above all, a shrinking of spirit. This is blasphemy, in my opinion, and not what Jesus intended. I did not become a Christian to be a party to any of that.
In contrast, my Christianity encourages ALL of us to find the divinity within. We are ALL children of God, much like Jesus was, and because of that we have a divine spark. What we do with that spark is up to us. We can forget about it, dampen it out, and live outside the presence of God. Or we can recognize our divinity, stoke the flame, and live completely within the presence of God. It's our choice. I know what I choose and what my ministry will advocate, but the rest is up to the rest.
So, it's out. I'm out. I'm a Christian. I'm nothing like most of the Christians I've ever met, but I'm calling myself a Christian nonetheless. All that said, don't expect me to celebrate Christmas or Easter, visit Six Flags Over Jesus with any regularity, or stop saying 'fuck'. And I assure you I'm going to keep drinking and sleeping with women. What you can expect are kind words, understanding, and a love for all. This, I feel, is what Jesus intended. It is the essence of my faith and the cornerstone of my (eventual) ministry. Truthfully, it's not a big change. Similar to when I came out as a lesbian, I'm essentially the same as I've always been, just with a new label. Above all, I am Stacee, no more and no less, and as always just happy to be here.
Comments
Post a Comment