Writing and Dreaming

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My shrink says it's good for me. The writing. I know I've been doing a lot more of it lately. And I suppose I'm enjoying it. I don't know really. I feel like I'm hiding behind the words, but maybe I'm just hiding in general. If I'm writing, I'm safe. A friend told me last week that writing keeps me alive. It's my outlet. Take it away and I'm lost. Oh, I'm still lost but at least I'm being productive.

I don't feel like writing tonight. And yet here I sit. Phone and rum drink at the ready. Hands poised over the keyboard. Mind trying to think of something to write.

It's as if I don't know what to do with myself anymore. I know I don't trust myself to sit still very long. I have to keep some part of me moving at all times. Truth be told, the drinking helps. And I hate that it does. The writing helps, too. My shrink says it's like dreaming. Or works the same way dreaming does. I guess it has something to do with my subconscious and getting things out of my head.

Speaking of dreaming, I keep having dreams about being on a boat or a ship. BRB (be right back). Going to look it up while I'm thinking about it.

"To see a ship in your dream denotes that you are exploring aspects of your emotions and subconscious. The state and condition of the ship is indicative of your emotional state. If you on on a ship and experience stormy weather, then it implies that you are going through some dramatic events in your waking life."

Yeah, the ship is usually in the middle of a storm or sinking. Sounds about right.

I've also dreamed that I'm on a roller coaster a couple times. Let's see what it says about that.

"To dream that you are riding a roller coaster represents life's frequent ups and downs. You are experiencing erratic behavior brought on by yourself or a situation."

I think we all saw that one coming.

One day I'll write less, dream less, and live more. I might even be able to sit still long enough to watch TV or a movie.

As if on cue, what song does my iTunes play? Something from the Titanic Soundtrack. Nice. Perfect really. I love you, too, Universe.

Not really. I don't believe in you either.


Dream analysis provided by www.dreammoods.com

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