The Ground Rules

It has come to my attention that I have a new blog reader (Kenzi, I'm not referring to you. Thanks for the 'follow', by the way! I hope we can get together and talk writing soon). I am so happy that you found my little slice of life. Welcome, welcome. You've come to the party a bit late - I've been doing this for almost eight years. As a newcomer, you may not be familiar with the ground rules of my blog. I used to lay them out quite often, but then I assumed only my mom was still reading so I stopped. Today is a great day! A new reader! I can hardly contain my excitement! So just for you, here are my ground rules -

1. This is MY BLOG. That means, to paraphrase a dear friend of mine, I get to write WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT. And I've written about almost everything  you can imagine - my life, the people who populate my life (including current and former girlfriends), lesbian sex, heterosexual sex, religion (usually my utter disdain for all things Christian), politics, Sarah Palin (at length during that unfortunate presidential election), porn, work, play, tennis, hot women, ugly women, dumb girls (Sorry about that one, Katie), liars (most recently), my imperfections, others imperfections, love, hate, heaven, hell, blue eyes, music, the list goes on and on.

2. If you don't like what I write, STOP READING. Take 'Notes from the Red Bird House' off your favorites and get on with life. I won't be offended if you're offended.

3. I NEVER NAME NAMES. There was a point when people competed to get into my blog. Women fell at me feet, brought me topics, showed me their tits. You get the idea. All the girlfriends love the blog...at first...when I'm writing about how wonderful they are. That usually takes a turn when we break up or they begin acting less than decent...and I choose to write about it. I made it a rule early - no names. It keeps everything equal. If you think you recognize yourself or someone you know, congrats - YOU MADE THE BLOG. I don't write about just anyone (though you apparently are right up there with Sarah Palin and porn), so rejoice. I may not write about you forever. Oh, and if you think someone will realize it's you? Sweep your guilty conscience under the rug and get over yourself. No one reads my blog, except you and my mom, and my mom doesn't know you.

4. I post everything I write and I DON'T DELETE. Ok, so I went through an ugly period recently in which I let love color my judgement. But really, I learned long ago to stand in my truth. Want me to delete something in the future? Get a court order.

5. Occasionally I write FICTION. Fiction means that it never actually happened. Of course, all fiction is based on some kind of reality. Keep this in mind going forward.

I think that's all I've got. Again, welcome to the blog. I hope you will enjoy reading me as much as I enjoy writing. Any questions, just sign in and shoot me a comment.

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