Grace Even for a Non-Believer

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“I’ll never settle down,
That’s what I always thought…”

                                                                                                                                                                    

I loved loving her and I loved the way she loved me. I was beautiful. She was beautiful. Our love was beautiful. We were perfect. We fit.

 

“Love’s never come my way,
I’ve never been this far…”

 

For the first time in my life, I thought about marriage. Spend the rest of my life feeling this beautiful and loved? I was ready. I looked at rings, thought about how to propose. I was in, she was in. All in.

 

“I don’t dance, but here I am
Spinning you around and around in circles
It ain’t my style, but I don’t care…”

 

 And then for reasons I'll never truly understand, she wasn’t.  We were no more and all that was beautiful disappeared from my life. I was sad and lost. It took years to recover.  People still ask if I hate her. I don’t. I couldn’t. I still love her. Part of me always will. Because  in the end, she gave me an amazing gift.

Before her I was steadfastly single and determined to stay that way. I wanted to be insignificant if I was anything to anybody. I was busy and couldn’t be bothered by entanglements . A girlfriend of any significance would keep me from my goals, keep me from living my life.

Then she came along and I was changed. I want the love, the work, the partnership, the shared goals and dreams.  I want someone to be there. I want to be there.  Everything made more sense with her. I want that for a lifetime.

 

“Cause you took these two left feet
And waltzed away with my heart…”

 

I want to be married.

It probably won’t be to her. 

Still, there’s Grace in that. Even for a non-believer.

 
 

Lyrics from Lee Brice, “I Don’t Dance”. Provided by azlyrics.com

 

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