The Alter of the Gods

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I threw myself on the alter of the Rum gods last night. Five hours and four rums later I was in love with a certain Bahamanian vanilla rum and drunk off my ass. Those Rum gods are clever, they are. "Hey, I have a rum you might like. Wanna come over for a quick drink?" That was referring to Kraken rum, a 'black rum' with a picture of a squid-like creature on the bottle (a quick Google search determined that 'Kraken' is another name for squid. Who knew? Apparently the Rum gods). And yes, I did like it very much. Thankfully we drained the bottle early or I might have missed out on three more rums. From there the gods led me to my old stand-by, Bacardi. Then came the Nectar of the Gods, the wonderfully sweet Bahamanian vanilla. If not for a quick trip out for some Mexican food (where the gods treated me to a fourth rum - a basic Cruzan silver), I might have sipped on sweet vanilla all night. Ah, Rum gods... Thank you for the rum tasting and the very satisfying drunk.

Which of course led right to the alter of the Hangover gods. Cavorting with the Rum gods has it's price. At least according to the Hangover gods. I found this out at 4:57am when I awoke with the inkling of a headache, dehydration, and stomach flip-flops. I took some Excedrin and drank some water and willed myself back to sleep hoping against hope that I might avoid the Hangover gods on a busy Saturday. Sadly, this was not to be. The Hangover gods were very insistent at 7:40am that a sacrifice must be made. Oh, I'm making it.

It's not as bad as it could be, given that I only dallied with the Rum gods. My last sacrifice to the Hangover gods was after a night of revelry with all the alcohol gods, including but not limited to the Rum gods, Vodka gods, and the all-powerful Goldschlagger gods. That sacrifice was a day long affair that saw me throw up on the curb in front of my house and beg everyone I knew to bring me Gatorade. It was also characterized by an inability to be vertical and the loss of feeling in my hands. Yes, that sacrifice was a monumental one.

This one is thankfully much smaller. Two more Excedrin, a cup of coffee, and a little breakfast should be all I need to get me back right with the gods. Until tonight. I'm told I will be cavorting again tonight. I can say that I'll say no, but I know me and the Rum gods. I just can't resist them. Which means that I also can't resist the Hangover gods. One good sacrifice invariably leads to another. And that second sacrifice is never as fun as the first.

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