Indeed Everything

Yesterday I decided to write about gratitude. Then today, I decided to change that up. No idea why. Thoughts stay the course. Thoughts meander. Ideas come. Ideas go. Inspiration waxes...then it wanes. The words that want to be written eventually come to the page. All in good time, they say. If you're bummed I decided against gratitude, stick around. I'm sure I'll come back around to it in a few minutes. Because look, shouldn't everything begin and end with gratitude?

All that positivity aside, I'm going to start with a bitch. It's a small one, but it something that grates a little. Like a pinky nail on a chalkboard. I know it shouldn't bother me and, trust me, other things bother me a lot more - Systemic racism, challenges to Roe v Wade, Madison Cawthorne, #MAGA, entitlement, figs on pizza, tuna casserole... But still this...gah. I don't like it. You're going to think it's ticky-tack. And you're allowed. To me, though, it's annoying. 

Let me give an example. 

Me: I ran/skated/biked/hiked [circle one] x-number of miles this morning. 

Hopefully Well-Meaning Other: [Aghast look on face] Why on earth would you do that?

Oh, I dunno....Because it's there? Because I wanted to? Because I can? These reasons are seldom if ever well received. People, by and large, just don't get it. They wouldn't do it; can't do it. And because of that, it's beyond imagining that anyone might want to or be capable. 

It's not like I do seemingly outlandish things. I'm not free soloing really high rocky outcroppings or running across Australia in the summer. I'm not trying to get into the Guiness Book for fitting umpteen zillion paperclips up my nose. I'm not kayaking solo across the Atlantic. I'm not snake charming or setting myself on fire. 

So what am I doing? Simply using my body, working my body, testing the limits of what I think it can do. Being healthy. Expanding what it means to be "in my fifties." Feeling. Imagining. Stretching the boundaries of my comfort zone. Improving. Experiencing. Inspiring. 

It's not just my physical pursuits. Here's another example.

Me: I'm going to Sweden.

Hopefully Well-Meaning Other: Again? But you haven't been to London, Paris, or Rome. And I suppose you're going alone. Why don't you take someone with you?

Up for one more? 

Me: I'm single by choice.

Hopefully Well-Meaning Other: No, you're not. No one would choose to be single. 

It's like people are totally incapable of stepping outside their own experience and imagining that others simply do not share their wants, needs, desires, and dreams. Look, I don't roll my eyes when you talk about sewing your own clothes, playing video games 23 hours a day, having another baby, remaining in a relationship that no longer serves you. These are you. They are not me. And I should have nothing to say. I guess if something becomes too much and interferes with someone's desire to care for themselves or others or creates some kind of danger, I might say something. After all, I've been a part of a couple interventions in my day. Please note: My athletic endeavors, travel plans, and relationship status do none of those things. 

While others may not be able to imagine living life as I do, I am so grateful that I can. And that I do. I cannot express the gratitude I feel when I think about what my body can do, my ability to travel alone, and the self-love that I have. I am uniquely me. And if there's an up-side (It is me so you know I'm going to find something positive. I'm going to digress here - again it is me - That's another thing people just fail to understand - my unfailing positivity. Surely it's an act. I'm bullshitting myself and the world. I can't be that happy all the time - side note: I'm not. Life is shit and it's time I realized that. The incredulous looks I get..... The lack of kindness in return... The eye rolls and the head shakes.... But back to my original point). Where was I? Oh, yeah, the upside to all the oddball comments and weird looks.... They solidify my steadfast belief in who I am. I will not be swayed by those who fail to understand and/or don't want to understand. It only deepens my gratitude. I am different than most and so very, very proud of all those things that make me unique.

Everyone should be. We should all be grateful for what we do have, rather than bemoaning everything we don't have. Reach out for the positive life has to offer and discover contentment all the while striving for more of what lights our soul. As for me, when I open the blinds each morning and look out onto yet another beautiful day in Asheville, North Carolina, I take a moment to steep myself in gratitude. What am I grateful for? Everything I am - physically, emotionally, intellectually, spiritually; my struggles; this place and the decades-long journey that led me here; all the people who support me, challenge me (especially all those nay-sayers), and love me; hope; kindness; health; fitness; happiness; grace; the pets who make sure that I'm up to enjoy each and every sunrise. The list is endless. 

See, I told you I'd get back around to it. Gratitude is indeed everything. For me, it's the glue that holds it all together. Without it, I'm a rudderless shell. With it, I am fulfilled. Always.

***Thank you for reading. That's one more thing I am grateful for - You, my readers, who give me purpose, comfort, and understanding. In many ways, when I feel alone, I know I am not. And for that, I am eternally grateful.***