'Show Me'

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There's a point when you will your mind to stop thinking. And that's right about when she says, 'show me'. I'll show you alright, just give me a quick sec to shut off my brain and all the things I could be thinking  as I 'show you'. I stopped. I showed. OK, done. Whew. It wasn't what it could have been and it's probably for the better. Because what could have been was me enjoying myself a little too much. Which could have led down the same old road - me liking something I can't have. And we can't have that. Not any more in any case. I'm over all that.

Or so I say. When I shut my mind off and think only 'correct' thoughts. In truth, I wanted to experience it, me 'showing' her. I wanted to feel what she felt like next to me, near me, against me. And I wanted imagine the possibilities, all the possibilities. I wanted to know so I could replay it back. Over and over again. In the cool darkness and in the bright light of day. Anytime I felt like it really.

Of course, I can't do that. Because I stopped thinking just in time. Whew. Ah... But... the brain controls only itself. The body... The body remembers a little something the brain wants to forget (if it ever knew it at all). Right now, if I sit still and quiet, I can feel something. Music. Strength. Softness. Melt. Sway. Done. Luckily, there are no thoughts to go with. Just a feeling, a very good feeling. Because I can't be thinking that I like something I can't have. I did it right this time - Stop. Show. Done. Good for me. I think. Eh, maybe not.

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