Me, the Non-Reader
I bought a book for a dollar today. Strange purchase, I know, considering I don't read. I do like bookstores, though. I love the smell of books I can spend hours (OK, half hours) looking at all kinds of books, most of which I have absolutely no intention of ever reading. I do have a short list of books I'm planning to read. I'm currently struggling through my first Anne Rice novel. It'd actually be pretty decent if it didn't tell the same part of the story over and over. Next up is "A Lesson Before Dying" by Ernest Gaines which will be followed by "A World Without End" by Ken Follett which will be followed by the latest novel by the author who wrote "The Red Tent" (which incidentally I have never and probably never will read). This little list of books will probably take me better than a year and a half to finish. Because I don't read. I'm not illiterate (obviously), but I just don't find pleasure in reading. I used to. When I say I'm 'struggling' to read, I mean I'm struggling. I can muster up the fortitude to read ten pages here or there before boredom and my desire to do anything else kick in.
I used to love to read. When I was a teenager, I read all the time. Fiction or non-fiction, it didn't matter, and the longer the book the better. Often I'd have two or three books going at one time. Even in college, I read for pleasure. Then a few years ago, I stopped. I don't know how or why. I just did. Every now and again, I'll pick up a book and enjoy it, but not enough to say I enjoy reading. The pleasure I used to derive has disappeared and I am left a non-reader.
As a writer I do a lot of apologizing for not reading. Most people look at me like I have horns when I say I don't read. I get a lot of incredulous looks and the occasional "no, really..." No, really. I don't read. I don't. Yes, I know I write (duh) and writers love to read, but not me. I'm a very good writer who could probably go the rest of her life without reading a single word ever again. Hell, I don't even like to read my own stuff. I'll tell you what happens when I read too much (which for me isn't much). I start parroting. That's not good. I want to write like me, not someone else. A year or so ago, I read a little Anne Lamott and low and behold my writing started to sound like hers. Maybe the key is to read writers whose styles I abhor, like Nicholas Sparks and Anne Rice. There's no way I'm going to mimic them. Yeesh. I'm slogging my way through "The Witching Hour" by Anne Rice right now. Way too much description. She just needs to get on with the damn story. Please (please, please) don't ask about me and Nick Sparks. Oh, hell no.
So, me and reading... not so much. it simply doesn't work for me. I'm not going to read writers I like because I'll end up writing like them. I'm not going to read writers I don't like because that just seems like a pointless waste of time (the only reason I'm continuing with the Anne Rice novel is because I want to know how the story ends. At page 598, I'm almost halfway there, though I find myself scanning more and more and reading less and less). What about the classics? Ugh... I think I'd almost rather pet a snake. Really. If you know me and my assorted phobias, that is saying a Hell of a lot. Tell me why I should read a "classic"? Who decided it was a "classic" anyway? All classic means to me is old and worn. Dickens? Bronte? Faulkner? Rand? Oy. Yes, a boa constrictor is sounding like a great option about now.
The attentive reader will recall that in the introduction I mentioned that I bought a GRE Verbal test prep book. Now, this should beg a question or two. Just verbal? Not the general test? Yes, just verbal. So, what grad school program am I going for? That would be an MA English specializing in Creative Writing (hopefully at the University of Texas right here in Austin). Ha! Won't a degree in English require me to read book after book and probably a classic or two? You'd think so. My plan is this - suffer through as little reading as possible, prove my theory that a writer need not read, and successfully complete my degree.
So, what was the dollar book I bought? A book of baseball writings put out by "Sports Illustrated". I'm a fan of SI. Truly if you asked me to read anything, it's what I'd pick (that or ESPN Magazine). I love sports and short articles. Will I ever read the book? Probably not. Maybe a chapter or two, but that's about it. I'll put it on my bookshelf with all the other books I may or may not have read. Just because I hate to read doesn't mean I hate book. I love books. As I walked around Borders today, a familiar thought came to me. All these books written by all these authors. Certainly (certainly) I am better than at least one of them. And if I'm better than one, then one day I will have a book there, too. I don't need to be the next giant, like John Grisham or Jodi Piccoult. I simply aspire to be in the tallest pygmy. Barely known, but with a book in print. Even though I'll never read it, someone might.
I used to love to read. When I was a teenager, I read all the time. Fiction or non-fiction, it didn't matter, and the longer the book the better. Often I'd have two or three books going at one time. Even in college, I read for pleasure. Then a few years ago, I stopped. I don't know how or why. I just did. Every now and again, I'll pick up a book and enjoy it, but not enough to say I enjoy reading. The pleasure I used to derive has disappeared and I am left a non-reader.
As a writer I do a lot of apologizing for not reading. Most people look at me like I have horns when I say I don't read. I get a lot of incredulous looks and the occasional "no, really..." No, really. I don't read. I don't. Yes, I know I write (duh) and writers love to read, but not me. I'm a very good writer who could probably go the rest of her life without reading a single word ever again. Hell, I don't even like to read my own stuff. I'll tell you what happens when I read too much (which for me isn't much). I start parroting. That's not good. I want to write like me, not someone else. A year or so ago, I read a little Anne Lamott and low and behold my writing started to sound like hers. Maybe the key is to read writers whose styles I abhor, like Nicholas Sparks and Anne Rice. There's no way I'm going to mimic them. Yeesh. I'm slogging my way through "The Witching Hour" by Anne Rice right now. Way too much description. She just needs to get on with the damn story. Please (please, please) don't ask about me and Nick Sparks. Oh, hell no.
So, me and reading... not so much. it simply doesn't work for me. I'm not going to read writers I like because I'll end up writing like them. I'm not going to read writers I don't like because that just seems like a pointless waste of time (the only reason I'm continuing with the Anne Rice novel is because I want to know how the story ends. At page 598, I'm almost halfway there, though I find myself scanning more and more and reading less and less). What about the classics? Ugh... I think I'd almost rather pet a snake. Really. If you know me and my assorted phobias, that is saying a Hell of a lot. Tell me why I should read a "classic"? Who decided it was a "classic" anyway? All classic means to me is old and worn. Dickens? Bronte? Faulkner? Rand? Oy. Yes, a boa constrictor is sounding like a great option about now.
The attentive reader will recall that in the introduction I mentioned that I bought a GRE Verbal test prep book. Now, this should beg a question or two. Just verbal? Not the general test? Yes, just verbal. So, what grad school program am I going for? That would be an MA English specializing in Creative Writing (hopefully at the University of Texas right here in Austin). Ha! Won't a degree in English require me to read book after book and probably a classic or two? You'd think so. My plan is this - suffer through as little reading as possible, prove my theory that a writer need not read, and successfully complete my degree.
So, what was the dollar book I bought? A book of baseball writings put out by "Sports Illustrated". I'm a fan of SI. Truly if you asked me to read anything, it's what I'd pick (that or ESPN Magazine). I love sports and short articles. Will I ever read the book? Probably not. Maybe a chapter or two, but that's about it. I'll put it on my bookshelf with all the other books I may or may not have read. Just because I hate to read doesn't mean I hate book. I love books. As I walked around Borders today, a familiar thought came to me. All these books written by all these authors. Certainly (certainly) I am better than at least one of them. And if I'm better than one, then one day I will have a book there, too. I don't need to be the next giant, like John Grisham or Jodi Piccoult. I simply aspire to be in the tallest pygmy. Barely known, but with a book in print. Even though I'll never read it, someone might.
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