The Color Gray

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I like the color gray. It's my favorite, in fact. Yes, I am well aware that gray isn't much of a color and that it really shouldn't be my favorite. I resisted for a long time. Gray is not a favorite color color. People like red, green, blue, and even black. Gray never makes the list. Even though I've always been a little obstinate and contrary, I went with the majority and said over and over again that my favorite color was blue. Then I switched to purple. Then I decided that I needed to stop lying. Hi, my name is Stacee and I like the color gray. I do. Really. All shades, but most especially charcoal gray. Call me weird (it's OK; I am weird).

Alright so yes, I've come out as a lover of gray. However, here's the thing - Over the past month, I've noticed that I have a lot more gray hair. You'd think I'd be happy. Something new gray in my life. Uh, not so much. I'm not vain. I know I'm cute and fit (some call that combination "hot"). It's a fact, so there's no need for vanity or conceit. I am what I am and I'm pretty fond of it. Truthfully, I've been ready for gray hair for a years. My mom went gray fairly early and since I'm a lot like my mom, I assumed I would as well. I wasn't too worried. I knew a woman way back in the day who was too young for all the gray hair she had, but she carried it so well. I swore when my day came, I'd be like her. Until I found my first gray hair at twenty-seven. I freaked out. For a moment I thought it had started. However, a friend pulled that one gray hair and the crisis was averted. I didn't see another one for years. Then about a year ago I noticed that I was getting more and more gray hair. It wasn't bad, really. Just a few sprinkled here and there. And when my hair was short, you could hardly see it. I kept saying that I'd embrace my gray and never color it.

Until I looked in the mirror a few weeks ago. I came to the very quick conclusion that this crisis would not be averted. The gray was here and, as much as I like the color gray, this wasn't going to go well for me. Now every time I look, I see more and more and more and more. I'm forty (well, OK... forty and a half) and it's probably about right on schedule. But, I'm not ready. I'm a young forty, the youngest forty you'll ever meet, so I can't go gray yet. It's not like I have a choice. I'm broke, so all the gray I have and all the gray I'm going to get will be on display for all to see. I don't have the disposable income to spend on hair color. And I'm just not that vain.

I guess I'll go with my mom's old adage when facing a choiceless situation - I can either "like it or like it". Hmm... I think I like it. I'm going to embrace the gray. Make it my friend. Hey, at least I like the color. It could be worse, thought right now I'm not sure how. I wish I was better at placating myself, because I'm so not adjusting well. This is the last thing I want to deal with. And besides, I'm pissed. What happened to give me all this gray hair all of a sudden? Damn Austin. More than likely it's the stress I went through when I first got here. That was almost as low as I've ever been. Maybe I should be happy all I got out of it was a bunch of new gray hairs. No crazy weight loss or prescription pharmaceuticals this time. No, I'm not buying it. I'd rather lose five pounds and go back on the Lexaslow. The next time I get stressed, I'll know not to fuck around and risk any additional age-related changes. I still like gray, but this gray hair sucks.

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