A Better Way to Say It
I know it's late and I ought to be asleep, but I'm going to do the math anyway. I've written approximately 874 blogs. For easy math, let's just assume that each blog averages 500 words (Yes, many are longer and many are shorter. That's why I said "averages"). Ok, this means that I've written right around 43,700 words since I started blogging in October 2006. You'd agree that I'm a writer, right? Nearly 44,000 words can't be wrong, can they?
Yes, I'm a writer. I know a lot of words. Certainly not 44,000 different words, but I know a lot. Given this fact, I should never be at a loss for words. I should have something to say all the time. In every instance, every situation. No matter what. Yet recently I've found myself completely unable to find the right words to say. She looks at me. I look at her. And nothing. Nothing. Seriously nothing comes out. Oh, I have a lot to say. A LOT. Plenty. More than plenty. Perhaps even too much. However, I find myself at a loss. I'm stuck. Wordless and silent. Searching for a way to say... it. It. You know, It?
She looks at me like that and I'm stunned into silence. A small voice whispers in the back of my head somewhere, "Breathe". Yeah, yeah... Breathe. Ok, done. Now what? Um, I don't know. Say something. What? Anything? I can't. There is nothing. No words. Well, other than the obvious. And I've used that way too many times. Beautiful. As in, "you are beautiful". Wow. Original. Nice job.
There's a line in a song that goes like this... "Girl you're beautiful. You're 'bout near perfect. But, I bet somebody's already told you that". It's true. Pretty girls hear it all the time. To someone like me, it's a revelation to hear it, but to the pretty ones? They've heard it all before. Beautiful? Yeah, thanks. The problem is THEY KNOW (and I don't mean in a bad way). The pretty girls know they're beautiful, so it all seems trite, blah, hum-drum.
That's where I assume, because I'm supposedly a writer, that I should be able to come up with something a little bit better, something more creative. For those of us dating pretty girls, it's a tightrope walk. Too creative sounds like bullshit. Too un-creative sounds like everyone else. You want to set yourself apart from all the ones who came before, yet you don't want to get laughed at and dismissed. Oh, and there's no net. Just in case you were wondering.
Because I'm certain there has to be a better adjective out there, I decided to check out my thesaurus. Not the crappy old, torn up one I stole from the Poway Library in middle school. No, I got out the real one I bought about a year ago. It's bigger, bolder, and supposedly better. Let's see... Beautiful. There are twenty-three synonyms listed, including (but not limited to) ravishing, exquisite, good-looking, alluring, lovely, attractive, comely, appealing, winsome, graceful, gorgeous, and stunning. Of the words listed, I can only see myself using three, maybe four, with a straight face. The rest? Yeah, not something I would use unless I was writing a sonnet (and we know me and poetry). So, you know, Googling "synonyms for beautiful" leads to a few additional words, such as pulchritudinous. Really. It's one of the words listed. It means "having great physical beauty" (I had to look it up). Um, no. Next idea.
So, the thesaurus didn't quite cut it. I guess I'm looking for a creative "turn of phrase", rather than a basic adjective. Such as "breath-taking" or...? That's where I'm stumped. Don't bother Googling it. You'll go nowhere. I find myself stuck. Somewhere between "breath-taking" and "splendiforous". Sadly, nothing says what I want to say how I want to say it.
She is... beautiful in a way that makes me blink my eyes longer than the standard blink and let out a very small, nearly imperceptible sigh, all the while shaking my head in utter disbelief. It's the feeling in my chest as my heart skips and my breath catches. It's the "oh my God" that silently rings in my head. It's how look away, but immediately look back. It's searching for the right thing to say and coming up with nothing.
So, here we are back at the beginning. And my loss for words. Too often I fall back on "beautiful". It works. It says it, but... still... it's not quite the word I'm looking for. It's too blah, too boring, too hum-drum, too done. I guess I'm not the writer I like to think I am. I feel eternally stuck - speechless, puzzled, and otherwise tangled up. Maybe one day I'll find The Word or just the right way to say what I want to say. I hate feeling this inadequate, but it's all I've got so I'm just going to go with it.
Yes, I'm a writer. I know a lot of words. Certainly not 44,000 different words, but I know a lot. Given this fact, I should never be at a loss for words. I should have something to say all the time. In every instance, every situation. No matter what. Yet recently I've found myself completely unable to find the right words to say. She looks at me. I look at her. And nothing. Nothing. Seriously nothing comes out. Oh, I have a lot to say. A LOT. Plenty. More than plenty. Perhaps even too much. However, I find myself at a loss. I'm stuck. Wordless and silent. Searching for a way to say... it. It. You know, It?
She looks at me like that and I'm stunned into silence. A small voice whispers in the back of my head somewhere, "Breathe". Yeah, yeah... Breathe. Ok, done. Now what? Um, I don't know. Say something. What? Anything? I can't. There is nothing. No words. Well, other than the obvious. And I've used that way too many times. Beautiful. As in, "you are beautiful". Wow. Original. Nice job.
There's a line in a song that goes like this... "Girl you're beautiful. You're 'bout near perfect. But, I bet somebody's already told you that". It's true. Pretty girls hear it all the time. To someone like me, it's a revelation to hear it, but to the pretty ones? They've heard it all before. Beautiful? Yeah, thanks. The problem is THEY KNOW (and I don't mean in a bad way). The pretty girls know they're beautiful, so it all seems trite, blah, hum-drum.
That's where I assume, because I'm supposedly a writer, that I should be able to come up with something a little bit better, something more creative. For those of us dating pretty girls, it's a tightrope walk. Too creative sounds like bullshit. Too un-creative sounds like everyone else. You want to set yourself apart from all the ones who came before, yet you don't want to get laughed at and dismissed. Oh, and there's no net. Just in case you were wondering.
Because I'm certain there has to be a better adjective out there, I decided to check out my thesaurus. Not the crappy old, torn up one I stole from the Poway Library in middle school. No, I got out the real one I bought about a year ago. It's bigger, bolder, and supposedly better. Let's see... Beautiful. There are twenty-three synonyms listed, including (but not limited to) ravishing, exquisite, good-looking, alluring, lovely, attractive, comely, appealing, winsome, graceful, gorgeous, and stunning. Of the words listed, I can only see myself using three, maybe four, with a straight face. The rest? Yeah, not something I would use unless I was writing a sonnet (and we know me and poetry). So, you know, Googling "synonyms for beautiful" leads to a few additional words, such as pulchritudinous. Really. It's one of the words listed. It means "having great physical beauty" (I had to look it up). Um, no. Next idea.
So, the thesaurus didn't quite cut it. I guess I'm looking for a creative "turn of phrase", rather than a basic adjective. Such as "breath-taking" or...? That's where I'm stumped. Don't bother Googling it. You'll go nowhere. I find myself stuck. Somewhere between "breath-taking" and "splendiforous". Sadly, nothing says what I want to say how I want to say it.
She is... beautiful in a way that makes me blink my eyes longer than the standard blink and let out a very small, nearly imperceptible sigh, all the while shaking my head in utter disbelief. It's the feeling in my chest as my heart skips and my breath catches. It's the "oh my God" that silently rings in my head. It's how look away, but immediately look back. It's searching for the right thing to say and coming up with nothing.
So, here we are back at the beginning. And my loss for words. Too often I fall back on "beautiful". It works. It says it, but... still... it's not quite the word I'm looking for. It's too blah, too boring, too hum-drum, too done. I guess I'm not the writer I like to think I am. I feel eternally stuck - speechless, puzzled, and otherwise tangled up. Maybe one day I'll find The Word or just the right way to say what I want to say. I hate feeling this inadequate, but it's all I've got so I'm just going to go with it.
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