Glass Houses

I have to say that I've taken a lot of criticism over the years for my relationships. Some haven't liked that I date women. Others haven't liked my choice of women - too young, too old, too crazy, too boring, too ugly, too pretty, too straight, too gay, too dumb, too smart, too tall, too short. You get the idea. Still others haven't liked that I've dated married women. I have only one thing to say - Don't judge my relationship unless you are in my relationship.

Here's my promise in return - I won't judge yours. I have a lot of friends and I can't say I'd want to be in some of the relationships they are in. I don't want to cheat on my husband, wife, spouse, or partner. And I certainly don't want them to cheat on me. I'm not for open relationships or swinging. I don't want to be in an unhappy loveless marriage. I don't want a boyfriend or girlfriend who beats the shit out of me. I don't want a spouse that drinks too much, thinks he or she is right all the time, and forgets our anniversary. The great thing is that it doesn't matter what I want or don't want. As long as it works for my friend, I'm good with it.

I am most certainly not going to judge or weigh in with an opinion that isn't wanted or needed. You know why? It's not my relationship. Far be it to say what works for anyone else besides me. And really, how do I know the ins and outs of that relationship? It's not mine. I'm not there. I only know what my friend tells me. If my friend is repeatedly sad or upset, I may make a suggestion that they think about why they are making the choices they are making. I am, however, never going to pass judgement or pretend that I know what is right or wrong.

We may think that we know best. Our morality is the right morality. Our way is the right way. News flash - We all live in glass houses. Each and every last damn one of us. And we know what people in glass houses should never do. I'm about to mix a metaphor so look out. Until I walk a mile in your shoes and you walk a mile in mine, we have little to say to each other about our respective relationships. Support is one thing. Judgement is entirely another. What works for me may not work for you and what works for me may not work for you, but that doesn't make either of us wrong.

Judge me because you are in a straight relationship or in a relationship with someone who is not married or in a relationship with someone to you is the Goldilocks of Girlfriends and I'm not? Be my guest. I may not agree. I may think you can do better. I may choose not to hang out with you and your girlfriend, boyfriend, partner, etc. (probably because I don't like them) and I may seem unsupportive. But know this, I will not judge you in return. Ever. As long as it works for you, it works for me. The end.