A Lesson Before Lying

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{I thought this was one of the blogs that got deleted about a month ago. Thankfully tonight I found it in my Hotmail "sent" messages. It wasn't lost! But is more than a month old}


Recent events have dredged up some old memories and reminded me of a skill set that I possess. It's a skill I truly hope that I never have to use again.

I'm good at liars. Not lying. Liars. I'm like a divining rod. Seriously.

'Trust until you can't.' I've always lived by those words. And I've gotten burned time after time. I've gotten lies for the sake of lying and lies when the truth would have been just as easy. I've asked for the truth and been told a lie.

I'm not talking about 'Do you like my new shoes?' or 'How does my hair look?' Those little white lies don't mean a damn thing. Tell me whatever you want. No, I'm talking about big questions, like 'Where were you this weekend?' or 'Why didn't you tell me you moved?' or 'Did you sleep with her?' These are questions with answers that matter. These are tough questions requiring tough answers, answers that require integrity, honesty, and courage.

Over the years, I've learned that the word is full of cowards. I've learned that the truth is hard and lies are easy for many people. I've learned that most liars think that they are good liars.

Until they get caught.

How do they get caught? I've never snooped, never spied, never done anything except ask, listen, and observe. And yet, somehow I figure it out.

The key? Stories that change. I'm going to give the liars out there one piece of advice - no matter how ridiculous your first story, the one you thought up totally on the fly amid mind-numbing panic, never, ever, ever change it. Want to know why?

The truth never changes.

How do I ferret out a liar? I ask them to tell the story again. And maybe again. And maybe even again. If the story stays reasonably consistent, I assume it's the truth, no matter how outlandish it sounds. If the story changes and details don't jive with previous versions, I assume it's all lies. Once we arrive here, I'm usually certain that I'm right and past the point of caring. I don't like liars.

The truth can be a scary idea. Lost friendships and fractured relationships come from the truth. In reality, it's not the truth that ruins everything. Sure, the action that precedes it is a problem, but it's the lies that are told to hide it that do the most damage.

The truth shall set you free. And maybe, just maybe, save the day. Because when all is said and done, the truth requires integrity and courage. People make mistakes, do the wrong thing, make bad choices. To err is human. Imperfection is human. Coming clean and telling the truth is about ownership. 'I did this and I'm ready to take responsibility and face the consequences'. That, my friends, is the mark of raw, unadulterated character. Even though the truth may hurt, you have to respect the honesty behind it.

Liars out there may think that they are saving someone from hurt by lying. They're not I'm going to leave y'all with one last lesson -

Absolutely nothing hurts worse than a lie.

Nothing.

Period.

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