Inspiring And/Or Intimidating
Today a friend told me that I'm inspiring and another told me that I'm intimidating. I think these two, while obviously not mutually exclusive, are unrelated. I am doubtful that I am (1) inspiring because I'm intimidating and/or (2) intimidating because I'm inspiring. If asked I'll categorically deny all of it. I certainly don't look in the mirror and see 'inspiring' or 'intimidating'; I usually see 'Stacee'. She's pretty cool and all, but inspiring and/or intimidating? Not hardly.
I'm not sure I'm good with the image I'm projecting. I'm decisively unapproachable. Some say it's because I'm 'so inspiring' or 'so intimidating'. Others say it's because of the ring I wear on my left hand. Now, I agree there might be some credence to the ring thing. I've worn it on my left ring finger since the day I got it. It just fits better there. For more reasons than one. The platonic love of my life (my PL) gave it to me so it carries a lot of significance, just not romantic significance. Truly it probably means more to me than any ring I've ever worn on that hand (and there have been two others). It also literally fits that finger better than the one on my right hand. Of course, this week when a co-worker asked me when I got married, I started to think a little differently on it. My apologies to my PL, but I need to get myself a girlfriend at some point and if everyone thinks I'm 'married' or at the very least 'taken', I'm fucked. Sure, I'll get my share of players who don't care whether I'm attached or not and there may be one or two interested parties that ask, but I think I need better odds than that. I've been 'in-town' single for nearly seven years and I've worn that ring almost three years. Go ahead and do the math. I'll wait.
Seriously I can't remember the last time I was approached by an interested stranger. Ok, there was the night at the lesbian bar when a friend lifted my shirt to show off my abs and I drew a bit of attention from a group of women I'd never met. Did any ask for my phone number? Alright, one did, but she's now dating the girl who lifted my shirt. It worked out for the best, but it still begs a lot of questions for me. My Intimidation Theory friend would say my above average abs intimidated all those girls. I am well aware of the insecurities of women and have overheard many lesbians saying that they will never lay in bed naked with someone skinnier than they are. Wow. Really? That kind of limits my chances. It's no fucking wonder I can't get anyone to look at me twice.
Now, I'm not feeling sorry for myself. I know what I bring and I like it. Hell, I'd date me. What is astounding to me is the number of truly physically, emotionally, and spiritually ugly women who have girlfriends, partners, or at the very least get second dates. Good lord. It's not like I have boils or look like Susan Boyle (who would probably be very popular in some lesbian circles). It's been a minute since I've listed my better qualities so please forgive my momentary cockiness. I'm above average looking with an above average body (for forty-two), I have a good job and a nice enough truck. I own my own home (so it's a six hour car ride away) and have a decent credit score. I'm smart and some say I'm funny when motivated to be so. I'm sane, drink in moderation, and have a college degree. I'm drug-free and don't have any warrants out for my arrest. Let me just tell you that there are worse women out there. Hell, I've date a couple of them.
So, what gives? Shouldn't they be coming out of the woodwork? Of course I don't get into the chase from either side. I'm not going to chase and I don't expect nor want to be chased. Either I want to date you or I don't. It's very simple for me. Assuredly that's a turn off for the minions of game-players out there who aren't sure of what they want and thus create a shitload of chaos and leave it in their wake. I know this because I've also dated a few of them.
Truthfully, I don't meet a lot of women I'd like to pursue even if I was inclined toward pursuit. Confidence, spiritual maturity, intelligence, sense of humor, and physical fitness are qualities I find essential. It's been a minute since I've met anyone with enough of the above to make me look twice. Chicken shit doesn't cut it for me. I guess I'm torn with the approachability issue. In a way, I like being unapproachable. The weak willed need not apply. I'm not in a position to settle and I think that comes across. Anyone worthy of me will ask about the ring and be confident enough not to be intimidated. She will be inspiring and allow herself to be inspired. A woman like that will be worthy and worth the wait and the frustration.
Until then, I'm good with me. I have to be. I base my self worth on me, myself, and I. Maybe that's inspiring and/or intimidating. I don't really care. All I know is that the one who dares approach me will be everything I am. She will know who she is and who she wants to be. She will be strong, spiritual, and forthright. Oh, and probably a little inspiring and intimidating, too. I know I won't be scared.
I'm not sure I'm good with the image I'm projecting. I'm decisively unapproachable. Some say it's because I'm 'so inspiring' or 'so intimidating'. Others say it's because of the ring I wear on my left hand. Now, I agree there might be some credence to the ring thing. I've worn it on my left ring finger since the day I got it. It just fits better there. For more reasons than one. The platonic love of my life (my PL) gave it to me so it carries a lot of significance, just not romantic significance. Truly it probably means more to me than any ring I've ever worn on that hand (and there have been two others). It also literally fits that finger better than the one on my right hand. Of course, this week when a co-worker asked me when I got married, I started to think a little differently on it. My apologies to my PL, but I need to get myself a girlfriend at some point and if everyone thinks I'm 'married' or at the very least 'taken', I'm fucked. Sure, I'll get my share of players who don't care whether I'm attached or not and there may be one or two interested parties that ask, but I think I need better odds than that. I've been 'in-town' single for nearly seven years and I've worn that ring almost three years. Go ahead and do the math. I'll wait.
Seriously I can't remember the last time I was approached by an interested stranger. Ok, there was the night at the lesbian bar when a friend lifted my shirt to show off my abs and I drew a bit of attention from a group of women I'd never met. Did any ask for my phone number? Alright, one did, but she's now dating the girl who lifted my shirt. It worked out for the best, but it still begs a lot of questions for me. My Intimidation Theory friend would say my above average abs intimidated all those girls. I am well aware of the insecurities of women and have overheard many lesbians saying that they will never lay in bed naked with someone skinnier than they are. Wow. Really? That kind of limits my chances. It's no fucking wonder I can't get anyone to look at me twice.
Now, I'm not feeling sorry for myself. I know what I bring and I like it. Hell, I'd date me. What is astounding to me is the number of truly physically, emotionally, and spiritually ugly women who have girlfriends, partners, or at the very least get second dates. Good lord. It's not like I have boils or look like Susan Boyle (who would probably be very popular in some lesbian circles). It's been a minute since I've listed my better qualities so please forgive my momentary cockiness. I'm above average looking with an above average body (for forty-two), I have a good job and a nice enough truck. I own my own home (so it's a six hour car ride away) and have a decent credit score. I'm smart and some say I'm funny when motivated to be so. I'm sane, drink in moderation, and have a college degree. I'm drug-free and don't have any warrants out for my arrest. Let me just tell you that there are worse women out there. Hell, I've date a couple of them.
So, what gives? Shouldn't they be coming out of the woodwork? Of course I don't get into the chase from either side. I'm not going to chase and I don't expect nor want to be chased. Either I want to date you or I don't. It's very simple for me. Assuredly that's a turn off for the minions of game-players out there who aren't sure of what they want and thus create a shitload of chaos and leave it in their wake. I know this because I've also dated a few of them.
Truthfully, I don't meet a lot of women I'd like to pursue even if I was inclined toward pursuit. Confidence, spiritual maturity, intelligence, sense of humor, and physical fitness are qualities I find essential. It's been a minute since I've met anyone with enough of the above to make me look twice. Chicken shit doesn't cut it for me. I guess I'm torn with the approachability issue. In a way, I like being unapproachable. The weak willed need not apply. I'm not in a position to settle and I think that comes across. Anyone worthy of me will ask about the ring and be confident enough not to be intimidated. She will be inspiring and allow herself to be inspired. A woman like that will be worthy and worth the wait and the frustration.
Until then, I'm good with me. I have to be. I base my self worth on me, myself, and I. Maybe that's inspiring and/or intimidating. I don't really care. All I know is that the one who dares approach me will be everything I am. She will know who she is and who she wants to be. She will be strong, spiritual, and forthright. Oh, and probably a little inspiring and intimidating, too. I know I won't be scared.
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