Another One For the Friends' Shelf

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I have a short attention span. This is fairly new to me and by 'fairly new' I mean within the last decade. Historically, I've been brutally impatient, yet remarkably able to delay gratification. Now, I'm just the opposite. I'm patient but have little tolerance for anything that I can't multi-task my way through. This is why I love to write and despise reading - I can do a multitude of things while I write, but must be focused to read. Focus means boredom. Boredom means, well, boredom. This is also why I don't watch movies, do puzzles, or knit. Interestingly enough, I love long road trips. Yes, I'm a study in contrasts.

What's the moral of this story? After much thought, I've decided to give up on my most recent crush. Frankly, it's stalled and I'm bored. When I can kid myself that it might actually go somewhere or advance in some fashion, I'm in. When all that dims into the realm of the improbable and the humdrum, I'm out. It's pretty easy for me. I know it's shocking that I could quit on something I once seemed so dedicated to, but boredom is boredom. While my attention hasn't drifted elsewhere yet, I'm not exactly paying attention either. That means it's time. She's going to the Friends' Shelf.

She's not the first and assuredly won't be the last. The list is quite prolific. Some start on the Friends' Shelf. Many don't. Some don't want to be there. Some I don't want to be there. Some need to be there. All are beautiful, amazing women and none were meant to be more than friends.

If I'm honest, she's been on the Friends' Shelf a few times in the past year and a half. Every now and again I pull her down and see what I can see. Usually I crush and she ignores. This time I got a wee bit farther, but I'm still not far enough and I'm bored. I'm not sure if I can't pursue her or I won't pursue her. I ardently believe it wouldn't work anyway. Truthfully, she's probably better off on the Shelf. I don't know why I hesitate so much. Eh... Ugh.

I have no idea what I will fill my mind with now that she's figuratively gone. Ideally, I'd have something on the horizon, kind of like finding a new job before quitting your old one, however there's nothing in sight. Maybe she's been distracting me. Maybe her placement on the Friends' Shelf will free me to find someone new. Maybe in her absence I can cure cancer or stop the proliferation of nuclear weapons. God only knows.

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