Stacee Does Not Need Any Babies
If I'd gotten pregnant the last time I had sex, I'd be due this month. I agree that it's a sad commentary on my sex life but I, for one, am truly ecstatic that I didn't get knocked up back in December. This has little to do with the heat, swelling, and other assorted discomforts that come with the ninth month of pregnancy and a lot to do with not wanting to be a parent. God help us all. Truly.
I can't say I've ever had the desire. Ever. Well, there was that one time with that one girlfriend when I actually acquiesced and told her that I'd be cool with it. I'd have parented with her. But yeah... Short of that? No. Not a chance. And if she approached me today nearly ten years later? I'd run screaming the other way.
It's not that I don't like kids. I like them ok. They're funny and I enjoy interacting with them. For brief and highly controlled periods. By no means do I ever want to be left alone with a child for more than a potty break or shower for Mom. Some of this has to do with my fervid avoidance of anything that might be misconstrued as a 'Michael Jackson moment'. 'You left her with who? That fucking dyke?' Let me remind you that where I come from they really use that kind of language and believe that gays and lesbians can be easily equated with child molesters. Ok, certainly not everyone thinks that way but enough that I learned to be hyper-vigilant where children were concerned.
Not that it was a hardship for me. I can't imagine anything much worse than babysitting. Again, not that I don't like kids. I do. I guess. They're amusing little creatures. In limited doses. Truthfully, I don't understand why anyone would want a child. Getting knocked up by accident and doing the 'Right to Life' right thing? Sure. Planning it and/or spending a fortune tricking God into conception? Oy. Seriously oy. Let's not even discuss the (crazy) people who do it multiple times.
I've been told I'd make a good parent. I'm not sure what makes people say that. I'm patient, have good values, and I'm reasonably goofy in a way kids generally respond to. I don't know what it takes to make a 'good' parent, but I'm thinking it's more than that. I'm sure desire has something to do with it. Given that I have no desire, I have no business being a parent. Just like a lot of people I run into on a daily basis. Who have kids.
So back to Christmas. If I'd gotten pregnant way back then, I'd be almost due. Thank you, Jesus and The Good Lord Above for creating me a lesbian. They knew what it didn't take me long to figure out. Stacee does NOT need any babies. Genius. Simply genius. No accidental Christmas Day knock-ups here.
Ha! As if there aren't enough good reason for not having children, here's one more - You get to have sex on Christmas. Can't do that while you're putting together a Barbie playhouse or dealing with a bunch of whiny over-tired kids can you now?
I can't say I've ever had the desire. Ever. Well, there was that one time with that one girlfriend when I actually acquiesced and told her that I'd be cool with it. I'd have parented with her. But yeah... Short of that? No. Not a chance. And if she approached me today nearly ten years later? I'd run screaming the other way.
It's not that I don't like kids. I like them ok. They're funny and I enjoy interacting with them. For brief and highly controlled periods. By no means do I ever want to be left alone with a child for more than a potty break or shower for Mom. Some of this has to do with my fervid avoidance of anything that might be misconstrued as a 'Michael Jackson moment'. 'You left her with who? That fucking dyke?' Let me remind you that where I come from they really use that kind of language and believe that gays and lesbians can be easily equated with child molesters. Ok, certainly not everyone thinks that way but enough that I learned to be hyper-vigilant where children were concerned.
Not that it was a hardship for me. I can't imagine anything much worse than babysitting. Again, not that I don't like kids. I do. I guess. They're amusing little creatures. In limited doses. Truthfully, I don't understand why anyone would want a child. Getting knocked up by accident and doing the 'Right to Life' right thing? Sure. Planning it and/or spending a fortune tricking God into conception? Oy. Seriously oy. Let's not even discuss the (crazy) people who do it multiple times.
I've been told I'd make a good parent. I'm not sure what makes people say that. I'm patient, have good values, and I'm reasonably goofy in a way kids generally respond to. I don't know what it takes to make a 'good' parent, but I'm thinking it's more than that. I'm sure desire has something to do with it. Given that I have no desire, I have no business being a parent. Just like a lot of people I run into on a daily basis. Who have kids.
So back to Christmas. If I'd gotten pregnant way back then, I'd be almost due. Thank you, Jesus and The Good Lord Above for creating me a lesbian. They knew what it didn't take me long to figure out. Stacee does NOT need any babies. Genius. Simply genius. No accidental Christmas Day knock-ups here.
Ha! As if there aren't enough good reason for not having children, here's one more - You get to have sex on Christmas. Can't do that while you're putting together a Barbie playhouse or dealing with a bunch of whiny over-tired kids can you now?
Comments
Post a Comment