Something And Nothing

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'My mind forgets to remind me that you're a bad idea.'

~ timely Taylor Swift (yes, I'm well aware I usually hate her) lyric from 'Sparks Fly'


As much as I resist, I do like a spark. Especially the unexpected kind. Yes, I never expected this one. Seriously, I didn't. Too much time had passed and I was beyond it. I was sure of it. I'd progressed and assumed she had too. And therein lies the problem - her progress.

Ugh. They grow up and turn almost thirty. Which is still half a light year from forty and still FAR too young, but it's not nearly as young as it used to be. Two years is two years. A lot can happen. Least of all, barely twenty-five become twenty-eight. And sparks still fly.

At least for me. That may prove to be my saving Grace. Hell, I don't plan on doing anything anyway, but thankfully the one way nature of those 'sparks' usually puts me decidedly, if not happily, in my place. I'm here; she's there. I'm free to think what I want and so is she. Even if she thinks nothing and I think something. For the moment. Assuredly, it'll pass. It always does. I am nothing if not fickle and forgetful. On purpose, perhaps, and for my the betterment of my sanity, but nonetheless I am good at.

You see... She's not the bad idea, per se. I am. I, for all I am and hope to be, would only hold her back. I'm better off being who I was and who I am. Currently. Nothing, in this case, beats something. Not that I'm 'nothing', but I'm far from the right kind of something. I'm better than okay with that. Doesn't mean I don't like a little spark on occasion, though.

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