Happy Hours, Pretty Girls, and the Motivation to Write

I suppose I'd be more motivated to write if I was having a drink. I used to like to do that - drink and write. It's not that I don't like to anymore, it's just that I don't do it anymore. In the past few months, I've changed my life ever so slightly and those changes preclude weekday drinking. They also preclude a lot of weekend drinking. I haven't quit all together and I certainly don't plan to, however these days it takes a 'special occasion' (like Happy Hour or a pretty girl or both) to get me to drink. Especially during the week. And given that it is officially 'during the week' and I lack a special occasion, I'm writing sober and largely unmotivated.

So, why have I cut back on my drinking? Theoretically, I have more money now than I've had in the past two years. God knows I found a way to afford to drink my way through a good portion of those years. Truly, when I want to drink, I find a way. It's that easy. Hell, I nearly maxed out a credit card having 'fun' and buying alcohol. I've since paid off that debt and hope to never have to do it again.

Still I could buy myself a bottle of something if I wanted to. I just don't want to. I keep a bottle at a friend's house and I can go over there and have a drink anytime I want. I don't do it nearly as often as I used to. Out of sight, out of mind is working pretty well for me at this point.

Well, with the exception of right now when I really, really wish I had a bottle in the cabinet downstairs. Not that I want to get drunk. I simply want some fun and motivation. Drinking gives me motivation to write, which in turn brings me fun. It's perfect really.

But, as I stated above, I'm trying not to drink especially on week nights. I have goals these days. I'm training for two vastly different running distances and attempting to keep my weight at a decent level. Simply put, I can't and won't run fat. Alcohol adds calories and I need all my calories to count. Most days. Some days I decide to fuck it and drink. Today is not one of those days.

Then there's my life in general. I'm busy and stressed and would really love to medicate with alcohol. However, I won't let myself hop on that merry-go-round. In my mind, it would be the beginning of the end. Once I started, how could I ever convince myself to stop? I'm sure I would, but the point is that I have too much going on to worry about drinking too much or too often. The easiest way to prevent all that is to severely limit myself.

This is why I say I need a special occasion. Tonight I was supposed to happy hour with a pretty girl (the best of both worlds). I really needed a drink after the week I've had and she would have assuredly made me laugh. However, plans got changed and here I sit - sober and attempting to write.

Now, tomorrow might be different. I'd love for tomorrow night to be different. All I have to do is dig up a Happy Hour and/or a pretty girl. Ipso-facto, 'legal' drinking. Plus it'll be Friday night which is officially classified as a weekend night this week. Go me.

Maybe. Happy Hours and/or pretty girls aren't that easy to find. Especially when I have less than twenty-four hours to plan, invite, and arrange everything. If that doesn't work out, I suppose I could buy a small bottle and create my very own special occasion. Friday night after one Hell of a week should count for something, shouldn't it?

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