Ten (Minus the Chapter and Verse)

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When I read back over some of the 'communication' I have with friends, I have to laugh. Taken out of context text messages and social networking comments can make absolutely no sense. Or a lot of sense, even if you have no idea what the original conversation was about. Sadly and occasionally happily, these ten statements encapsulate my life over the past week. Take them for what you will. I sure did at the time.


1. 'Of course she knows my pharmaceutical history. I was picking up xanax. That's gotta paint a pretty picture.'

2. 'She's not suddenly going to become an emotional adult. And really, I don't respond to 'deathbed' revivals.'

3. 'I do want a handgun. Better stated, I want a girl with a handgun. Now that's some sexy shit. And she can shoot her own crazy ex.'

4. 'Absolutely, she'd have had me pick her up at the jail on Sunday...'

5. 'I love the fact that I can sit here and self-evaluate my life, with no desire to purchase a gun.'

6. 'She'd cheat on me. I'd spend a lot of time in court, have to buy myself a gun to protect myself from the ex. Sounds painfully familiar. Never works out.'

7. 'July 4th was definitely a date....Even if the "pretty girl" was soaked and not so attractive at that moment....and even though there was no bill to be paid. Best date ever.'

8. 'She's going to self-destruct. And then she'll either do it all again better or go back to her old, easy yet painful life.'

9. 'I don't know why people feel that they have to go to church to believe in God or be a Christian. On the other hand, I could use some guidance. I'm not all that happy with the person I've been lately. You know the feeling I'm talking about - the guilty one, where you know you're not being the best person you can be. Yeah, that would be me - a big, ol'e INTENTIONAL sinner.'

10. 'Yeah, I was just happy that this project with Super Glue didn't involve feathers. Now that was a serious mess.'

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