I Think I'll Have the Chicken
Previous to last night, I'd never won anything. Well, unless you count the Big Mouth Billy Bass I won at a company picnic back in 2000. I'm on the fence with that one. Usually I say I've never won anything because truthfully I didn't win anything except something to donate to the Goodwill or sell at a garage sale. I mean seriously, if you win a joke, is it really winning? And then there's the scratch-off lottery tickets my mom buys me every year for Christmas. In the past two years I've won a sum total of like $11, on her $40 investment. I could scratch a hundred tickets and I assure you I'd end up with about $17 and a pile of silver shavings. In the simplest terms, I'm not a winner. Now, I'm not saying I'm a loser. There's a lot of gray area between winning and losing and I feel that I navigate it pretty well. Not well enough to win anything ever, but well enough to avoid feeling like a loser while I'm not winning.
You'd think with all this non-winning, I'd consider myself unlucky. The funny thing is that I don't. I am truly the unluckiest lucky person that ever lived. I may not win big (or small for that matter), but I lead a blessed life. I have love, health, employment, family, and a car that starts when I jiggle the battery cable just right. I have good people in my life, including Jesus and a friend who makes kick-ass fried okra. I've kissed an assortment of pretty girls and avoided my fair share of drunk driving arrests. I'm consistently broke, but not as broke as some. I have a decent grasp of who I am and I know how to write in complete sentences. When I feel like it. So even though I've been unlucky most of my life, I still feel pretty damn lucky.
All that changed last night. Meet 107092, my new lucky number. It was also the number on my raffle ticket at my company Christmas party last night. I was excited about the door prizes. By that I mean, I was excited about the idea of the door prizes. A few of my co-workers (the lucky ones) were going to win some really cool things. Like... an iPad, 32in TV, a Blue Ray player, a laptop, and an iPod Nano. Cool stuff, right? I never for a minute thought I'd actually win anything. If last night was anything like the previous forty-one and three-fourths years of my life, I could have waded up my ticket into a big, red spitball or turned it into an origami swan. It wasn't going to matter. I contemplated leaving the damn thing in my pocket. But of course because I don't think of myself as a loser, I got mine out with all my co-workers and anxiously waited for my number to be called.
Four prizes in I looked at my ticket laying on the table in front of me and heard, '107092'. That's me! That's me! A few high-fives later and a wild sprint to the podium that would have made Bob Barker back up a step, I was the proud owner of a brand-new iPod Nano. Winner, winner, Chicken Dinner! The girl who never wins anything, won!
I see it as a great turn of events in my life. I'm no longer in the gray area between winning and losing. I'm a winner - someone who has won something. At this point the sky's the limit. Until I get my Christmas package from my mom, scratch off my twenty lottery tickets, and lose on nineteen of them. At that point, I'll sink back into the gray area. With my little pile of silver shavings and my new iPod Nano!!! Woo-hoo!!!!!
You'd think with all this non-winning, I'd consider myself unlucky. The funny thing is that I don't. I am truly the unluckiest lucky person that ever lived. I may not win big (or small for that matter), but I lead a blessed life. I have love, health, employment, family, and a car that starts when I jiggle the battery cable just right. I have good people in my life, including Jesus and a friend who makes kick-ass fried okra. I've kissed an assortment of pretty girls and avoided my fair share of drunk driving arrests. I'm consistently broke, but not as broke as some. I have a decent grasp of who I am and I know how to write in complete sentences. When I feel like it. So even though I've been unlucky most of my life, I still feel pretty damn lucky.
All that changed last night. Meet 107092, my new lucky number. It was also the number on my raffle ticket at my company Christmas party last night. I was excited about the door prizes. By that I mean, I was excited about the idea of the door prizes. A few of my co-workers (the lucky ones) were going to win some really cool things. Like... an iPad, 32in TV, a Blue Ray player, a laptop, and an iPod Nano. Cool stuff, right? I never for a minute thought I'd actually win anything. If last night was anything like the previous forty-one and three-fourths years of my life, I could have waded up my ticket into a big, red spitball or turned it into an origami swan. It wasn't going to matter. I contemplated leaving the damn thing in my pocket. But of course because I don't think of myself as a loser, I got mine out with all my co-workers and anxiously waited for my number to be called.
Four prizes in I looked at my ticket laying on the table in front of me and heard, '107092'. That's me! That's me! A few high-fives later and a wild sprint to the podium that would have made Bob Barker back up a step, I was the proud owner of a brand-new iPod Nano. Winner, winner, Chicken Dinner! The girl who never wins anything, won!
I see it as a great turn of events in my life. I'm no longer in the gray area between winning and losing. I'm a winner - someone who has won something. At this point the sky's the limit. Until I get my Christmas package from my mom, scratch off my twenty lottery tickets, and lose on nineteen of them. At that point, I'll sink back into the gray area. With my little pile of silver shavings and my new iPod Nano!!! Woo-hoo!!!!!
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