It's a 'Date'

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A friend of mine is having dinner with a pretty friend tonight. She's calling it 'dinner'. She's free to do that. If she wants. I, on the other hand, would call it a 'date'. Me + pretty girl + dinner = 'Date'. Every time, even on Sundays. It doesn't matter who pays, who plans to pay, who picks the place, who's gay, who's straight, or who asked whom, in my book if I'm out with a pretty girl, it's a 'date'.

I started doing this years ago to make myself feel better about my seemingly date-free life. I couldn't find a woman to date for real, so I decided to date them for pretend. Now, now... Before you get to thinking that I became delusional and actually BELIEVED we were dating, let me clear a few things up. While I may have wanted to be on a date with said pretty girl, I never lost sight of reality. I knew I was the only one calling it a date. She most certainly called it lunch/dinner/drink/movie with Stacee. Assuredly, none of them ever thought they were on a date with me.

I'm good with that. I honestly don't care what they think or what they thought. In my mind (surface portions only), it was a 'date'. Once I came to that understanding within myself, I started going on a lot of 'dates'. I've had lunch 'dates', dinner 'dates', happy hour 'dates', often with more than one pretty girl at a time. The best part? I don't always have to pay! Because they think that they're just having lunch/dinner/drinks/movie with Stacee, they pay for their own. It's a beautiful thing. Not that I wouldn't pay for them if I had the money or if they would let me, but that is seldom an option. Two reasons - (1) I am preternaturally broke AND (b) pretty girls tend to get weird when the cute lesbian (that's me) offers to pay for their lunch/dinner/drink/movie. It's easier to avoid that territory all together and let them continue thinking it's just lunch/dinner/drink/movie with Stacee.

And really, when all is said and done, I'm the only one that matters in this deal. If I want it to be a 'date' and it makes me feel better to say that it is, then it's a 'date'. So back to my friend and her dinner tonight... If she wants to miss out on the opportunity to have a 'date' with a pretty girl, that's on her. I'd never skip that chance. If she's pretty and we're out together, it's a 'date'. No question. And just in case you were wondering. Yes, very often it's good to be me.

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