Thirteen Years
'Solid stone is just sand and water, baby
Sand and water, and a million years gone by...'
~ Beth Nielsen Chapman, 'Sand and Water'
Some things endure. They do. I know because I know. And because I've lived it every day for thirteen years. Thirteen more will go by and I will feel the same. I know because I know. He is with me now because he was with me once. I remember him in song and in the smell of vodka. I remember how he told me to 'fuck 'em all and be happy' and how I've gone back to that over and over when acceptance and happiness seemed impossible.
I am who I am for many reasons. He was (is) merely one of those reasons. I always wonder if others remember him as I do. If they don't? I guess I will be happy if one person remembers me thirteen years later, so I imagine he would be cool with that, too. I think he might be surprised it's me, but then again maybe not.
Through his life and death, he taught me strength - of purpose, character, and friendship. Ultimately, I learned that happiness, though often fleeting, must be embraced. And that while life sometimes feels like something we must simply endure, it is really all about making the most of being alive. Because being alive is never a given. It is a gift.
Sand and water, and a million years gone by...'
~ Beth Nielsen Chapman, 'Sand and Water'
Some things endure. They do. I know because I know. And because I've lived it every day for thirteen years. Thirteen more will go by and I will feel the same. I know because I know. He is with me now because he was with me once. I remember him in song and in the smell of vodka. I remember how he told me to 'fuck 'em all and be happy' and how I've gone back to that over and over when acceptance and happiness seemed impossible.
I am who I am for many reasons. He was (is) merely one of those reasons. I always wonder if others remember him as I do. If they don't? I guess I will be happy if one person remembers me thirteen years later, so I imagine he would be cool with that, too. I think he might be surprised it's me, but then again maybe not.
Through his life and death, he taught me strength - of purpose, character, and friendship. Ultimately, I learned that happiness, though often fleeting, must be embraced. And that while life sometimes feels like something we must simply endure, it is really all about making the most of being alive. Because being alive is never a given. It is a gift.
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