Only Everything

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To be honest, I thought up the title to this blog first. "Only Everything". It sounded good and it was what was running through my head at the moment. I'm not sure where this thing will go, if anywhere, but here we are so let's get going.

I get accused of it often. The longer I'm single, the more I hear it. Everyone seems to think that I am too picky. Apparently there are plenty of available women I could date, but I set my standards too high. I'm looking for perfection. I'm looking for everything. I'd like to correct this. I want everything that is a fact. Why should I settle for less? I'd argue that almost everyone settles for less. They do, I promise you. And where does that leave them? Somewhere between not quite okay and horrifically miserable. I hear a lot about these relationships (call it venting or bitching) and I'm pretty sure I don't want one. Why would I when I'm so happy being single? Yeah, I don't get it. Settling... It's not for me. The way I see it, I have no choice but to wait for everything.

When I make statements like that, all the nay-sayers, most of whom are bogged down in their very own relationship misery, quickly tell me that I'll never find it. No one is perfect, Stacee. No one will ever be 'everything'. Alright then so be it. But please understand that 'everything' does not mean perfection. I don't expect anyone in my life to be perfect. That'd be far too boring. Imperfection is where it's at. I love it. It's interesting and intriguing and invigorating. It's real. And in it's own very special way, it's everything.

Ok, here's what no one seems to understand. I'm not perfect (well, they get that part) and I don't expect myself to be perfect. Therefore, I don't expect anyone in my life to be perfect or even aspire to be perfect. What I want is someone whose imperfection meshes with mine, someone who is perfectly imperfect. For me.

I may be looking for a needle in a haystack, but I think it's do-able. She is out there. I just hope she's not locked into settling for some loser bitch (or bastard, given my history) who will never be everything enough. You know what? I'm going to bet she's more like me - searching and getting called 'too picky' by all the nay-sayers. One day we will run into each other and come face-to-face with only everything we have ever imagined. In that moment, we will know and our search will be over.

Go ahead and say it'll never happen. I say it will. Unfortunately, you're too busy settling for something so close to nothing, you wouldn't know everything if I ran you over with a dump truck. So, let me pursue what I want to pursue. I'll let you do the same. I guarantee you this - I'll be happy either way. And you'll be... well, not. Damn...

Comments

  1. Michele Buckland04 October, 2009 23:14

    Now don't go hitting people with dump trucks. That'll get you that felony like Vick (though I doubt that Nike is going to give you a contract if you ever get out).
    You'll find that, Stacee. You will. Have faith, honey. Oh and COME SEE US SOON. Miss you and loves you.

    ReplyDelete

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