A Not So Positive Top Ten
I can't recall the last time I did a Top Ten list blog. I know it's been awhile. I started one maybe a month ago but stopped at 3 or 4. The old adage my mom used to say all the time when I was a kid, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all", kept coming to mind. I probably should have stopped this one and deleted it. I'm not sure where I've gone. I used to be so happy. Not so much these days. Sorry about that.
1. If you wish your boyfriend or girlfriend was different, it might be a sign that you need a different boyfriend or girlfriend.
2. The cure for anxiety is NOT quote-unquote 'nerve pills'. It's avoiding whatever brings you anxiety. It's pretty damn simple and a hell of a lot cheaper.
3. If you're going to be broke, don't move to a fun city. Stay in the boring town you've lived in for six and a half years.
4. If you keep breaking up and getting back together with your boyfriend or girlfriend, it might be a sign that you are just meant to be miserable. YOU are meant to be miserable. Not the rest of us on the sidelines who need a score card to keep up.
5. If you THINK you are being talked about in a blog, don't flatter yourself. You will KNOW when you are. It will be made abundantly clear through esoteric references. Oh, and it's not your wife or girlfriend either (for the record, your wife/girlfriend is the antithesis of my type. Hate to break that one to you. Just because you like her, doesn't mean I have to).
6. When you whittle your life down to having next to nothing, you will realize you actually need even less.
7. Living in a 'wet' city for the first time in more than a decade will do you absolutely no good if you are too broke to buy a bottle of rum. You will be thankful, however, when you acknowledge that said bottle of rum could quickly lead to daily drunkenness, a nifty case of functional alcoholism, and an eventual 12 Step Program.
8. Distance does make the heart grow fonder, but it makes the soul a lot lonelier.
9. You will have to fight off your first migraine in more than a year on the night your roommates' decide to have friends over to watch a football game.
10. Never, ever, ever, ever, EVER change a winning game. If you love your life, keep riding that wave until it really sucks. Then make a change. If you change a sucky life, you'll never notice that your new and 'improved' life sucks even more. Change your good life and the comparison may depress you to the point of suicidal tendencies.
P.S. The 'suicidal tendencies' reference was meant to be funny, not real..... Please don't call any hotlines on my behalf. Thank you.
1. If you wish your boyfriend or girlfriend was different, it might be a sign that you need a different boyfriend or girlfriend.
2. The cure for anxiety is NOT quote-unquote 'nerve pills'. It's avoiding whatever brings you anxiety. It's pretty damn simple and a hell of a lot cheaper.
3. If you're going to be broke, don't move to a fun city. Stay in the boring town you've lived in for six and a half years.
4. If you keep breaking up and getting back together with your boyfriend or girlfriend, it might be a sign that you are just meant to be miserable. YOU are meant to be miserable. Not the rest of us on the sidelines who need a score card to keep up.
5. If you THINK you are being talked about in a blog, don't flatter yourself. You will KNOW when you are. It will be made abundantly clear through esoteric references. Oh, and it's not your wife or girlfriend either (for the record, your wife/girlfriend is the antithesis of my type. Hate to break that one to you. Just because you like her, doesn't mean I have to).
6. When you whittle your life down to having next to nothing, you will realize you actually need even less.
7. Living in a 'wet' city for the first time in more than a decade will do you absolutely no good if you are too broke to buy a bottle of rum. You will be thankful, however, when you acknowledge that said bottle of rum could quickly lead to daily drunkenness, a nifty case of functional alcoholism, and an eventual 12 Step Program.
8. Distance does make the heart grow fonder, but it makes the soul a lot lonelier.
9. You will have to fight off your first migraine in more than a year on the night your roommates' decide to have friends over to watch a football game.
10. Never, ever, ever, ever, EVER change a winning game. If you love your life, keep riding that wave until it really sucks. Then make a change. If you change a sucky life, you'll never notice that your new and 'improved' life sucks even more. Change your good life and the comparison may depress you to the point of suicidal tendencies.
P.S. The 'suicidal tendencies' reference was meant to be funny, not real..... Please don't call any hotlines on my behalf. Thank you.
Miss you woman. I thought about you just the other day ;( and Rissa asked if I knew how you were. Sadly, I think I have been back to the pool maybe a half-dozen times since you left. I'm pretty damned sure you stole the sunshine away with you! Bring it back sometime......before next summer for sure!
ReplyDeleteAnywho, just wanted to say "hi" to ya. Keep your head up high and remember there are a TON of people who love you, StaceeAnn. (Oooh, went all double name on you).