Need You Now

"And I wonder if I ever cross your mind.
For me it happens all the time."

~from Lady Antebellum, "Need You Now"


It's improbable. It is, I promise. I'm forgettable. Well, to the ones I want to remember me. Nice bit of irony, isn't it? I do wonder if I ever cross her mind, like at random times not like when I break down and send her a text message. At that point, I assume I'm crossing her mind. Until she finishes typing a polite one or two word reply and hits "SEND". At that point, I assume I'm no longer crossing her mind. With me, she's no better than a gnat with ADD and short-term memory loss. I'm there then gone again until I'm there again. This I know so please spare me all the placating words of wisdom. They may make you feel better, but me? Not so much.

For me it does happen all the time. She crosses my mind a lot. And I do need her now, like I did five minutes ago and like I will five minutes from now. She won't be there. In my mind, yes. For real, no. This is the consistently sad fact of my life. So sad that I've learned to just accept it and go on. Kind of like spilled milk, but worse. Not worse like a terminal illness you have just to live with until... well, until you die. More like allergies. Yeah, like allergies you hate but can medicate and be almost okay most days.

Well, I'm going to go "medicate" and try to put something else in my head for awhile. This song, which happens to be on repeat on the iTunes, does absolutely no good. Might should begin by choosing a new song. How about "I Hate My Life" by Theory of a Deadman? A catchy, fun little tune that will probably do absolutely nothing to help. Oh well, it's worth a try.

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