My New Bucket List

Ok, so this is going to sound a little junior high. Well, junior high when I went to junior high. I'm sure kids are far more advanced these days. In any case, I'm aware of the 'immaturity' of my thoughts and I have a zillion rationalizations specifically designed to make me feel better. I just want everyone to be aware that I'm aware and thus maybe keep any sort of interventions at bay. In a nutshell, I've created a whole new Bucket List. I guess I should say that I've created an 'additional' Bucket List because I haven't trashed the old one. Yes, I still plan to publish a book, live on the beach, hike The Camino, get an advanced degree in Divinity, and marry Ashley Judd. My new Bucket List involves one behavior and one behavior only (this is also where it goes decidedly 'junior high').

Now, you'd think at my age that one behavior would be sex. It's not. Around the first of the year, I gave up sex for the sake of sex, meaning that I will no longer have sex outside of a committed relationship. As shocking and appalling as it may seem, I'd grown tired of loveless sex. It's all I'd done for years and it wasn't getting me anywhere. That's not to say that I had a series of cheap tawdry flings and one nighters. Generally speaking I was 'dating' the women I slept with; I just wasn't in a 'relationship' with them and had no plans of ever progressing to that point. I was dating to date and having sex to have sex (or dating to have sex or having sex to date). All this may sound fun, but over time it grew humdrum and boring. Plus, if my goal is a lasting committed relationship, I need to do something different. Obviously dating and sex aren't working. That's why I decided to stop having sex for the sake of sex. And why my new Bucket List doesn't involve sex.

Per se. What it does involve is kissing. Junior high-ish? Yes, but very real to me. I'm not ashamed to admit (publicly) that there are several people out there that I am dying to kiss, just to see what it's like. This doesn't mean that I want to kiss them repeatedly or eventually have sex with them. I'm more than good with a one and out. A kiss can be amazing, a first kiss even more so, and an only kiss even more so. It never has to go anywhere and that's how I prefer it.

For me, a kiss is part test and part spiritual quest. I believe that God exists in our connections to one another. We are led to certain people and certain places so that our souls may unite in physical form. Because of all that, I have these feelings and intuitions. I simply want to know if I'm right and a kiss has the potential to tell me everything. Historically, once I know, I'm good. I've lived on knowing for a very long time and expect that I can continue indefinitely. For the most part. That said, there are a very select few people I would like to kiss again. Once upon a time, we were intensely connected - spiritually or physically or both. I want to know if it would all still be there today years later. Can our connection endure time and distance? Or was our connection just a figment of the moment?

Without much further ado, I present my Kissing Bucket List. Currently, there are seven members. I do have a couple cautionary notes before we get to the list.

• As the creator of my Kissing Bucket List, I reserve the right to change the list at any point in time. Just because I desire a knowing about these seven today doesn't mean I won't get bored at some point and remove them from the list. Or add others.
• Don't expect me to 'name names'. I never do and I'm not starting now. Bummer, I know. This is for my protection and privacy as well as that of the folks on the list.
• The 'names' are listed in no particular order.
• If you think your wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, or significant other is 'Number Such-and-Such', keep in mind that the odds of that are astronomical. There are billions of people in the world and only seven of them made my list. Besides, it's just a kiss. I'm not planning to run off with anyone or convince anyone to commit adultery.
• If you think you're on the list and would like to arrange to have your name scratched off, please get with me privately. My email address is included on both my blogging sites.
• If you think you know a name on the list, please respect our privacy and do not blurt it out in a blog comment. Do not email me privately to see if you are correct because I will not answer.

Here we go... Yes, it's a puzzle!

1)  _ _ _ _ _   _ _ _ _ _ _ _

2)  _ _ _ _ _ _    _ _ _ _ _ _ _

3)  _ _ _ _   _ _ _ _ _ _

4)  _ _ _ _   _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

5)  _ _ _ _ _ _    _ _ _ _

6 )  _ _ _ _ _ _   _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

7)  _ _ _ _ _ _   _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


And now for a few clues because I'm not completely unfeeling...

• Of the people on the list, three are single or single-ish and four are currently married or civil unionized.
• I have kissed two previously (the connection tests I mentioned above).
• I'm pretty sure it's assumed that I've already kissed three others, but I have not. Yet.
• Only one is a 'Hot Friend' (and probably not the one you'd assume).
• The 'Best Kiss of My Life' is NOT included on the list as a re-kiss (caps very much intended).
• I've met and know five; I haven't met the remaining two.
• I don't currently work with any, but I used to work with two.
• Six are female, one is male (yes, for real).
• Only two live in Texas.
• Two are openly gay, one is gay in the 'right' circles, and the four others consider themselves straight.

Alrighty. That's all I'm going to give away. I apologize for the junior high nature of my fantasies, but I think it beats the alternative. Sex for the sake of sex can't be spiritual. A kiss, on the other hand, can be. At least in my rationalizations. So, see? It's all way for me to get closer to God. I'm only partly joking.

I'm still not sure how I'm going to scratch names off my list. I suppose I need a plan. Hmm.... I'll get to work on that now and let you know.