Miracle At 4 AM
'Sometimes the only way to win is not to play.' I was up early this morning watching 'Tron: Legacy'. Until that line (which I adapted slightly for my purposes. I like to hedge my bets a little), I wasn't sure why in the Hell I was up at 4am eating Raisin Bran and watching the sequel to a movie I may or may not have seen and/or liked as a child. Here I thought I was so excited about 'my' Saturday that I couldn't sleep. I never expected a miracle before sunrise. And yet there it was coming out of Jeff Bridges' character's mouth - 'The only way to win is not to play'. Words to live by. Hell, words I already live by. I guess I'm just happy I'm not the only one who feels this way, even if the only other person is a character in a Disney movie.
I'm dead-set on not playing. I am. I simply struggle with the 'winning' part. I haven't 'played' in years (if ever) and it's been years since I've 'won'. Incidentally, I have been played a few times and lost. Odd. I'm not sure I like the logic. Others play and win. I refuse to play and I lose. It's not supposed to work that way. Then there's my friends who insist that it's just not my time yet. If I just keep doing what I'm doing, I'll win eventually. And those others? They really aren't winning. It just seems that way. Ugh... Seriously? Thanks for the pep talk.
Still, I refuse to play. I will not chase, cajole, give a little only to take a little, or take a little only to give a little. I will not dangle a carrot or tickle with a feather. I won't fall for the give and go, bump and run, or the pick and roll. I don't set screens or steal the deal.
I am the anti-thesis of 'Game' and 'Play'. I also seem to be the anti-thesis of 'Win'. I suppose it depends on how I define 'Win'. By the standards of many I'm a big ole loser. If only I'd play the game, I might have a chance. I'm worse than a quitter because I never stepped onto the court to begin with. I must be scared, terrified even. It's the only explanation they can think of. In a way my friends are right - 'Winning' is only an illusion. Others may 'win', but in reality they lose over and over again. They win; they lose; they win; they lose. The only thing they know is the game and the only thing they know how to do is play.
In my experience, you get what you give. So, what do I do? I stare straight ahead, shine my light, and stand. I'm a conscientious objector to the game. I know I don't win by common standards, but I suppose as I think about it, I am a winner. My prize may not be a girlfriend or the lottery or anything tangible at all. I do, however, have a few things game players will never have - A strong sense of Self and a miracle at 4am on a Friday that happens to be my Saturday. So yes... Sometimes the only way to win is not to play. It works for me and apparently for Kevin Flynn, too (That's Jeff Bridges' character in 'Tron: Legacy'. Of course, he died in the end. At least it seems like he did. Eh, maybe in twenty years he'll be back to complete to trilogy. For real. I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried).
I'm dead-set on not playing. I am. I simply struggle with the 'winning' part. I haven't 'played' in years (if ever) and it's been years since I've 'won'. Incidentally, I have been played a few times and lost. Odd. I'm not sure I like the logic. Others play and win. I refuse to play and I lose. It's not supposed to work that way. Then there's my friends who insist that it's just not my time yet. If I just keep doing what I'm doing, I'll win eventually. And those others? They really aren't winning. It just seems that way. Ugh... Seriously? Thanks for the pep talk.
Still, I refuse to play. I will not chase, cajole, give a little only to take a little, or take a little only to give a little. I will not dangle a carrot or tickle with a feather. I won't fall for the give and go, bump and run, or the pick and roll. I don't set screens or steal the deal.
I am the anti-thesis of 'Game' and 'Play'. I also seem to be the anti-thesis of 'Win'. I suppose it depends on how I define 'Win'. By the standards of many I'm a big ole loser. If only I'd play the game, I might have a chance. I'm worse than a quitter because I never stepped onto the court to begin with. I must be scared, terrified even. It's the only explanation they can think of. In a way my friends are right - 'Winning' is only an illusion. Others may 'win', but in reality they lose over and over again. They win; they lose; they win; they lose. The only thing they know is the game and the only thing they know how to do is play.
In my experience, you get what you give. So, what do I do? I stare straight ahead, shine my light, and stand. I'm a conscientious objector to the game. I know I don't win by common standards, but I suppose as I think about it, I am a winner. My prize may not be a girlfriend or the lottery or anything tangible at all. I do, however, have a few things game players will never have - A strong sense of Self and a miracle at 4am on a Friday that happens to be my Saturday. So yes... Sometimes the only way to win is not to play. It works for me and apparently for Kevin Flynn, too (That's Jeff Bridges' character in 'Tron: Legacy'. Of course, he died in the end. At least it seems like he did. Eh, maybe in twenty years he'll be back to complete to trilogy. For real. I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried).
Comments
Post a Comment