Ashley Judd Included
A couple years back she was the girl I drove seven hours to sleep with. I don't want it to sound bad, but I'd driven farther. I haven't since. Six hours is the most since. And really, in comparison, that extra hour was well worth it. I'm not commenting on quality or quantity here, just attention to detail. Seven hours read me poetry. Six hours... hmm... how should I say this.. got drunk a lot. Regardless, I'm done with the long distance thing. A friend commented the other day about his good luck with long distance Internet dating and suggested that I may want to 'think globally' like he did. Uh, no thanks. Really. I'm good as is. I like being single plenty enough to forego too much effort. Six or seven hours? Not any more.
Still, though, I have a few good road trip memories. I simply choose not to add to them. If I'm going to date anyone, it's going to be local. Even that's a huge stretch. The idea of seriously dating anyone (Ashley Judd included) makes me feel queasy and claustrophobic. I certainly don't think a woman is worth doubling the dosage on my AEPs. Or becoming friendlier with the xanax I use to fight off the occasional sleepless night. Drugs will not be my crutch. Thankfully, the drugs I do take provide a nifty sublimating effect so I don't think I'll find myself driving six minutes much less six hours to find a woman and/or sex any time soon.
Don't be sad for me. In this case, I'm a fan of the vicious circle. Women = Claustrophobia. Drugs = No Claustrophobia. Drugs = No Women. No Women = No Claustrophobia. No Claustrophobia = No Drugs. Well, I can't exactly go as far as 'no drugs' (and by 'drugs' recall that we are speaking of the legally prescribed Anti-Everything Pills), but you see my point. If |A| = |B| and |B| = |C|, then |A| = |C|. Even though it's not super-complex-save-the-world math, I still think I'm pretty much good to go. I'm happy being single; the idea of the inverse makes me queasy. There's nothing wrong with that in my book.
All that said, there's no denying that she's the girl I drove seven hours to sleep with... twice. The drugs may take way the claustrophobia, but I'll never let them take away the memory of her. And her poetry.
Still, though, I have a few good road trip memories. I simply choose not to add to them. If I'm going to date anyone, it's going to be local. Even that's a huge stretch. The idea of seriously dating anyone (Ashley Judd included) makes me feel queasy and claustrophobic. I certainly don't think a woman is worth doubling the dosage on my AEPs. Or becoming friendlier with the xanax I use to fight off the occasional sleepless night. Drugs will not be my crutch. Thankfully, the drugs I do take provide a nifty sublimating effect so I don't think I'll find myself driving six minutes much less six hours to find a woman and/or sex any time soon.
Don't be sad for me. In this case, I'm a fan of the vicious circle. Women = Claustrophobia. Drugs = No Claustrophobia. Drugs = No Women. No Women = No Claustrophobia. No Claustrophobia = No Drugs. Well, I can't exactly go as far as 'no drugs' (and by 'drugs' recall that we are speaking of the legally prescribed Anti-Everything Pills), but you see my point. If |A| = |B| and |B| = |C|, then |A| = |C|. Even though it's not super-complex-save-the-world math, I still think I'm pretty much good to go. I'm happy being single; the idea of the inverse makes me queasy. There's nothing wrong with that in my book.
All that said, there's no denying that she's the girl I drove seven hours to sleep with... twice. The drugs may take way the claustrophobia, but I'll never let them take away the memory of her. And her poetry.
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