Good With What I've Got
I'm good with what I've got. I'm in this long distance dating thing right now and it seems to be working pretty well. And no, that's not a rationalization because I can't find anyone more local to date. I've come to see that I'm just not well suited to dating locally. In fact, when I think about it (I mean really think about it), I start to feel feverish and my stomach does a few wing-wings. Having a girlfriend that I can see anytime I want to? Or that can see me anytime she wants to? No pre-arranged weekend trips required? Ugh... Even in the best circumstances that would be suffocating. Nice to an extent (it'd be a helluva lot cheaper and less wear-and-tear on my truck), but oy. Ugh. And oy.
See, I've been dating this girl for a little over two months now. That's pretty good for me, if you're keeping track. Truth be told, I've always been better at longer distance relationships. I'm lucky to get a month out of local girls, but in the past I managed to make it almost four months with a girl from Oklahoma City and just over three months with a girl from Portland, Maine. At this point in my current 'relationship', I'm cruising through what is probably the halfway point and I'm feeling alright about it. Better when she's sober, but alright nonetheless.
And we are just dating. We haven't discussed monogamy or commitment or life or rings or U-Haul rentals. That, in the lesbian world, is tantamount to a miracle. I chalk it up to the physical distance and the unusual (read: non-lesbian) emotional distance between us. We enjoy being together when we are together, but we have hesitated to label it or make it more than it needs to be at this juncture. Nearly 400 miles separate us, her car is unreliable at best, and we are both broke. This means our 'dates' are monthly occurrences. Granted our 'dates' are getting longer (stretching through most of the weekend) and my visits home now depend solely upon her availability, but we are just dating. No more and no less. In between visits we text a few times a day and talk very, very occasionally. I don't worry where she is. She doesn't worry where I am. There is no supposition of anything and we are both expectation free.
It's no secret that I'm trying to move home. I'm not happy in Austin and would love to live out my days in what I formerly called 'Shithole Texarkana'. For the record, this has everything to do with me and absolutely nothing to do with her. Even though some have speculated otherwise, I can say this with the utmost certainty. My reasons are three-fold (or maybe four-fold. We'll see once I get going).
My luck, I'll start dating a girl in Austin shortly after re-establishing myself in Texarkana. The only problem with her when I was here? She was local and local, by definition, is bad. Very bad. Local means 'Ugh' and 'Oy', feverish stomach wing-wings and feelings of anxious suffocation. That said, I'm going to enjoy what I've got while I've got it - a delightful long-distance thing that kinda suits my fancy. And hers, I think. Truthfully, I don't think much about what she thinks about us, but I'm pretty sure she's good with what she's got, too. Hell, I would be if I were her.
See, I've been dating this girl for a little over two months now. That's pretty good for me, if you're keeping track. Truth be told, I've always been better at longer distance relationships. I'm lucky to get a month out of local girls, but in the past I managed to make it almost four months with a girl from Oklahoma City and just over three months with a girl from Portland, Maine. At this point in my current 'relationship', I'm cruising through what is probably the halfway point and I'm feeling alright about it. Better when she's sober, but alright nonetheless.
And we are just dating. We haven't discussed monogamy or commitment or life or rings or U-Haul rentals. That, in the lesbian world, is tantamount to a miracle. I chalk it up to the physical distance and the unusual (read: non-lesbian) emotional distance between us. We enjoy being together when we are together, but we have hesitated to label it or make it more than it needs to be at this juncture. Nearly 400 miles separate us, her car is unreliable at best, and we are both broke. This means our 'dates' are monthly occurrences. Granted our 'dates' are getting longer (stretching through most of the weekend) and my visits home now depend solely upon her availability, but we are just dating. No more and no less. In between visits we text a few times a day and talk very, very occasionally. I don't worry where she is. She doesn't worry where I am. There is no supposition of anything and we are both expectation free.
It's no secret that I'm trying to move home. I'm not happy in Austin and would love to live out my days in what I formerly called 'Shithole Texarkana'. For the record, this has everything to do with me and absolutely nothing to do with her. Even though some have speculated otherwise, I can say this with the utmost certainty. My reasons are three-fold (or maybe four-fold. We'll see once I get going).
- I wanted to move home long before she (re)appeared on the scene in July. Texarkana is my home. It is where my heart and my friends are. And where I know I am supposed to be (as fucked up as that sounds when I say it out loud).
- I vowed long ago that I would never, ever, ever, ever again move for a woman. And I plan to keep that promise.
- As I stated in the first paragraph of this little adventure, local dating scares the crap out of me.
My luck, I'll start dating a girl in Austin shortly after re-establishing myself in Texarkana. The only problem with her when I was here? She was local and local, by definition, is bad. Very bad. Local means 'Ugh' and 'Oy', feverish stomach wing-wings and feelings of anxious suffocation. That said, I'm going to enjoy what I've got while I've got it - a delightful long-distance thing that kinda suits my fancy. And hers, I think. Truthfully, I don't think much about what she thinks about us, but I'm pretty sure she's good with what she's got, too. Hell, I would be if I were her.
Comments
Post a Comment