Enough

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I was going to say 'Why do I let her?', but that's wrong. It's not her. It's me. All me. One hundred percent me. She doesn't do a damn thing. Nothing. I promise you that. She doesn't text, call, or communicate in any fashion. Directly. It is her mere existence in my world that trips me up. Assuredly the better question is 'Why do I?' Argh... It's been years. YEARS (well, almost). And still. Still. There is something that draws me to her and does THAT to me. I'd like to say I hate it, but I don't. Part of me loves knowing what she can do without even trying. Because what if some day she actually tried? Ok, enough of that. Enough of this. Enough of her. She is off limits - mind, body, and soul. But you know the crazy thing? She's not in my head or my heart. It's my damn soul. My God damn soul. I can go days, weeks, even months without thinking about her and I am most certainly NOT in love with her. Yet... There is something in me that can't quite seem to shake her. Truthfully, I stopped trying a long time ago. Trying was pointless. I know what I know. And in an odd way that I can never seem to explain to anyone, it's enough.


Epilogue... As I read back over what I just wrote, I'm afraid that what my words may be needlessly misinterpreted. Oy. Here we go... Yes, it could be your wife, girlfriend, or domestic partner. However, you're just going to have to trust that I'm never (again) going to do anything while she's attached. I'll wait 'til she's single. Which never happens for more than a nano-second. Apparently.

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