Digging Communication
Someone out there 'digs me'. Or so she says. I'm not divulging any names, so if you're waiting around for that, don't. Truly there is no purpose in telling who 'she' is. If you're her, you know who you are. And if you're not, you know that too. If you silently dig me and haven't told me, then you also know I'm not referring to you. Suffice it to say that the key players in this one know who we are. She, whoever she is, digs me. And I let her.
I'm not saying that I don't dig her. On a certain level I do. Just not enough to say it out loud. Because once you say it out loud, it tends to mean something and you really should follow it up with some kind of action. There's no 'Well, I meant it at the time', not in my world anyway. If I say I 'dig you', you can bet I've thought it out and I plan to 'dig you' for a goodly long time. Probably until you stop digging me and I spend a few weeks on the Break Up Diet and get a new tattoo. So yeah, it's a big statement for me. Generally speaking, I'm a promise keeper, not a promise breaker. Therefore, I haven't said it in return and I don't plan to any time soon.
She apparently digs me enough to say it out loud. She's told me several times over the past few weeks. I can't say I trust it. Most people who have 'dug me' in the past have done so for a very short period of time. So, to avoid The Break Up Diet (which in truth I really could use right now) and a new tattoo (which I also really could use right now), I remain skeptical. I admit some of the reason for my disbelief resides in me. I am jaded and cynical; I've heard it all before. The rest, however, is solidly on her. So far, I've heard the words, but seen little to back it up.
Assuredly, a long distance dating has it's challenges. Ninety percent of the 'relationship' (for lack of a better word) has to be conducted via phone, text, computer, snail mail, etc. When one party only has a phone, the options are reduced significantly. When one party regularly 'loses' her phone, 'forgets' her phone, or somehow can't access her phone, the options are reduced to almost nil. Unfortunately, my skepticism defines all this as bullshit. Absolute and utter bullshit. If she really 'dug me' as she says she does, she wouldn't lose, forget, or have limited access to her phone. Her phone is her lifeline to me; it is a necessity because without it, we can't communicate. At all (I guess we could become pen-pals in the traditional sense, of course she'd have to remember my address. And at 44 cents a letter, texting would probably still be cheaper).
I guess the bottom-line for me is that when I 'dig someone', I want to communicate with them. I'm not asking for a constant stream of 'wha'cha doins'. That would drive me bonkers. I'm in favor of a conversation here and there during the day and maybe a well-placed 'just thinking of you' every now and again. Unless I'm guilty of over-texting, which I don't think one 'good morning' OR one 'hey, how was your day?' equate to, I expect an answer. Maybe not instantaneously, but sooner than later. Keep in mind that if I don't get an answer, I don't text back. It's very simple for me. I do not chase and I'm not going to communicate with someone who apparently doesn't want to communicate.
Now before she admitted to 'digging me', I was cool with the limited communication. I called her a 'fuck buddy' or 'booty call' and left it at that. I'd call her the week before coming into town and arrange a meeting or two. It was easy and fun. Then she started saying over and over that she 'dug me'. And that changed everything. In my mind, it upped the ante. For her. If she truly 'dug me', she needed to show it. I'm not asking for flowers and surprise visits. Not at all. Those things would probably freak me out and give me good cause to bug out. Sincerely, all I expected was a modicum of regular communication. That as yet, I haven't gotten.
So, my jaded and cynical mind has come to a couple conclusions - (1) She just saying that she 'digs me' (for whatever reason) or (2) She has absolutely no idea what 'digging' someone actually entails. Neither is any good. I don't have time for games (1) or dumbasses (2). It may seem harsh, but my tolerance for boredom is super low. And silence (ie. her lack of communication) equals boredom. And seriously who over the age of twelve in this day and age can't keep track of their phone? News flash, it's not an endearing quality.
I'm a believer that unless you walk your talk, your talk means absolutely nothing. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Action and, incidentally, inaction are the evidence. You 'dig me' yet never communicate with me? I hear the words, but there's no follow-up. The result? Skepticism and boredom. Yeah, I 'dig her' on a certain level, but frankly that's day-to-day at best. If she truly 'digs me' and wants me to 'dig her' back, she needs to show me a little something. Like going a week without 'losing' her phone or coming up with a better excuse. I really don't think I'm asking for too much, just a little consistency between words and actions.
I'm not saying that I don't dig her. On a certain level I do. Just not enough to say it out loud. Because once you say it out loud, it tends to mean something and you really should follow it up with some kind of action. There's no 'Well, I meant it at the time', not in my world anyway. If I say I 'dig you', you can bet I've thought it out and I plan to 'dig you' for a goodly long time. Probably until you stop digging me and I spend a few weeks on the Break Up Diet and get a new tattoo. So yeah, it's a big statement for me. Generally speaking, I'm a promise keeper, not a promise breaker. Therefore, I haven't said it in return and I don't plan to any time soon.
She apparently digs me enough to say it out loud. She's told me several times over the past few weeks. I can't say I trust it. Most people who have 'dug me' in the past have done so for a very short period of time. So, to avoid The Break Up Diet (which in truth I really could use right now) and a new tattoo (which I also really could use right now), I remain skeptical. I admit some of the reason for my disbelief resides in me. I am jaded and cynical; I've heard it all before. The rest, however, is solidly on her. So far, I've heard the words, but seen little to back it up.
Assuredly, a long distance dating has it's challenges. Ninety percent of the 'relationship' (for lack of a better word) has to be conducted via phone, text, computer, snail mail, etc. When one party only has a phone, the options are reduced significantly. When one party regularly 'loses' her phone, 'forgets' her phone, or somehow can't access her phone, the options are reduced to almost nil. Unfortunately, my skepticism defines all this as bullshit. Absolute and utter bullshit. If she really 'dug me' as she says she does, she wouldn't lose, forget, or have limited access to her phone. Her phone is her lifeline to me; it is a necessity because without it, we can't communicate. At all (I guess we could become pen-pals in the traditional sense, of course she'd have to remember my address. And at 44 cents a letter, texting would probably still be cheaper).
I guess the bottom-line for me is that when I 'dig someone', I want to communicate with them. I'm not asking for a constant stream of 'wha'cha doins'. That would drive me bonkers. I'm in favor of a conversation here and there during the day and maybe a well-placed 'just thinking of you' every now and again. Unless I'm guilty of over-texting, which I don't think one 'good morning' OR one 'hey, how was your day?' equate to, I expect an answer. Maybe not instantaneously, but sooner than later. Keep in mind that if I don't get an answer, I don't text back. It's very simple for me. I do not chase and I'm not going to communicate with someone who apparently doesn't want to communicate.
Now before she admitted to 'digging me', I was cool with the limited communication. I called her a 'fuck buddy' or 'booty call' and left it at that. I'd call her the week before coming into town and arrange a meeting or two. It was easy and fun. Then she started saying over and over that she 'dug me'. And that changed everything. In my mind, it upped the ante. For her. If she truly 'dug me', she needed to show it. I'm not asking for flowers and surprise visits. Not at all. Those things would probably freak me out and give me good cause to bug out. Sincerely, all I expected was a modicum of regular communication. That as yet, I haven't gotten.
So, my jaded and cynical mind has come to a couple conclusions - (1) She just saying that she 'digs me' (for whatever reason) or (2) She has absolutely no idea what 'digging' someone actually entails. Neither is any good. I don't have time for games (1) or dumbasses (2). It may seem harsh, but my tolerance for boredom is super low. And silence (ie. her lack of communication) equals boredom. And seriously who over the age of twelve in this day and age can't keep track of their phone? News flash, it's not an endearing quality.
I'm a believer that unless you walk your talk, your talk means absolutely nothing. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Action and, incidentally, inaction are the evidence. You 'dig me' yet never communicate with me? I hear the words, but there's no follow-up. The result? Skepticism and boredom. Yeah, I 'dig her' on a certain level, but frankly that's day-to-day at best. If she truly 'digs me' and wants me to 'dig her' back, she needs to show me a little something. Like going a week without 'losing' her phone or coming up with a better excuse. I really don't think I'm asking for too much, just a little consistency between words and actions.
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