When Tired Of It Is Tired
I'm not sure exactly what I'm tired of or why, but there's no denying it. I'm tired. I suppose I should start 2012 out on a more positive note, but then again I'm not sure being tired is a bad thing. If anything, it'll make me change a few things. Hmm... I guess that means 'negative' and 'positive' are found exclusively in the interpretation. I guarantee someone will read my opening line and ream me for being too negative (trust me, it happens). Ah-ha! Keep reading. We'll soon see that I'm not the negative one in that equation. I choose to frame my tiredness another way and use it to my advantage.
I'm tired of a lot of things - dishes in the sink (not mine), the ever-expanding pile of dirty clothes in my laundry basket, running crappy, the way my weight seems to yo-yo incessantly, being at the beck-and-call of my co-workers (who I still love dearly), my hair (which probably won't survive the day), being broke (partly why I'm tired of my hair - I can't afford to get it cut), my ADD-H dog who can't sit still for more than five minutes, wishing there were more hours in the day, wishing there were fewer hours in the day, impending change (it needs to get here already), listening to the same old music over and over again, and my ability to be the greatest procrastinator in the world.
I'm not sure what exactly I plan to change. Sure, I'm readily and steadily paying off debt and have been for quite awhile. Of course, I don't seem to pay it off as fast as I create it. Maybe that's what I'm tired of - creating more debt. Ugh... In my defense, I needed the new tires and I needed some of my books to sell (that I lost more than I made on that last deal will end up largely inconsequential when I make it BIG). The good news is that while my living situation is due to change is about a month, my financial situation stands to improve slightly (once I get the pet deposits paid off). It's going to be a pain in the ass having the dogs in an apartment, but my roommate and I found a great deal that should save us both money.
In many ways, I think I'm waiting for change to come to me. God knows, I'm not out there pursuing it. Being tired and tired of it means I want change, but unfortunately I lack the energy to make it happen. Eh... At this point, I'm good with that. I'm not procrastinating. I'm being patient. The difference may be subtle to the untrained eye, but I assure you I'm waiting, not avoiding. Good things are coming. I know they are because I've put a few things in motion. It's just going to take a minute or two for them to get here. For example, I start my next vacation a week from today and leave for California a week from tomorrow; on February 15th my roommate and I move out on our own; on March 24 one of my soul mates will be in Austin; and in May I might see 'the love of my life thus far' (it's a good short hand if nothing else).
I guess the majority of that list isn't 'change' per se, but all are something new under the sun. And I desperately need something new. Sure, I need to make other changes - like going to the gym more regularly and figuring out what to do with this mop of hair - but for now tired of it is tired. I probably should rest up for what the Spring promises to bring anyway. I certainly don't want to get to those exciting things and be too exhausted to enjoy them. I also need to save a little money in the meantime. Ah, more debt reduction. It truly makes me tired just thinking about it.
For now, I'm going to practice patience and know that my batteries will recharge at some point. This, too, shall pass. It always does. Before I know it, something new will come along and I'll find myself mysteriously re-energized, listening to new music, and ready to roll. I won't be tired of it and, as such, I won't be as tired. I'll leave patience and procrastination behind, jump into action, enjoy a little something new, and be ready to make some changes. I refuse to see that as negative.
I'm tired of a lot of things - dishes in the sink (not mine), the ever-expanding pile of dirty clothes in my laundry basket, running crappy, the way my weight seems to yo-yo incessantly, being at the beck-and-call of my co-workers (who I still love dearly), my hair (which probably won't survive the day), being broke (partly why I'm tired of my hair - I can't afford to get it cut), my ADD-H dog who can't sit still for more than five minutes, wishing there were more hours in the day, wishing there were fewer hours in the day, impending change (it needs to get here already), listening to the same old music over and over again, and my ability to be the greatest procrastinator in the world.
I'm not sure what exactly I plan to change. Sure, I'm readily and steadily paying off debt and have been for quite awhile. Of course, I don't seem to pay it off as fast as I create it. Maybe that's what I'm tired of - creating more debt. Ugh... In my defense, I needed the new tires and I needed some of my books to sell (that I lost more than I made on that last deal will end up largely inconsequential when I make it BIG). The good news is that while my living situation is due to change is about a month, my financial situation stands to improve slightly (once I get the pet deposits paid off). It's going to be a pain in the ass having the dogs in an apartment, but my roommate and I found a great deal that should save us both money.
In many ways, I think I'm waiting for change to come to me. God knows, I'm not out there pursuing it. Being tired and tired of it means I want change, but unfortunately I lack the energy to make it happen. Eh... At this point, I'm good with that. I'm not procrastinating. I'm being patient. The difference may be subtle to the untrained eye, but I assure you I'm waiting, not avoiding. Good things are coming. I know they are because I've put a few things in motion. It's just going to take a minute or two for them to get here. For example, I start my next vacation a week from today and leave for California a week from tomorrow; on February 15th my roommate and I move out on our own; on March 24 one of my soul mates will be in Austin; and in May I might see 'the love of my life thus far' (it's a good short hand if nothing else).
I guess the majority of that list isn't 'change' per se, but all are something new under the sun. And I desperately need something new. Sure, I need to make other changes - like going to the gym more regularly and figuring out what to do with this mop of hair - but for now tired of it is tired. I probably should rest up for what the Spring promises to bring anyway. I certainly don't want to get to those exciting things and be too exhausted to enjoy them. I also need to save a little money in the meantime. Ah, more debt reduction. It truly makes me tired just thinking about it.
For now, I'm going to practice patience and know that my batteries will recharge at some point. This, too, shall pass. It always does. Before I know it, something new will come along and I'll find myself mysteriously re-energized, listening to new music, and ready to roll. I won't be tired of it and, as such, I won't be as tired. I'll leave patience and procrastination behind, jump into action, enjoy a little something new, and be ready to make some changes. I refuse to see that as negative.
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