This Person Rocks
I dreamed about an ex-girlfriend last night. I'm pretty sure I know why. She's been on my mind recently. No, no... It's not like that. I'm not pining or weepy or even angry. I gave up all that long, long ago where she is concerned. It's just that time of year again, and while I've passed through eight such times of year, I still find myself thinking of her.
No harm. No foul. I do it twice a year at least, three times if I remember her birthday. She is synonymous with early May and late-mid January without question. These were our times for better or worse. May was better and January worse, but in the subsequent near decade I've come to see them as the absolute best decision I ever made and the absolute best decision ever made for me.
Old chapters end and new ones begin without notice or warning. Sometimes those things that begin great end crappy and those things that begin crappy end great. And really, 'crappy' is relative and tends to ease with time regardless, at least for me, so it's hard for me to dwell. Grace appeared eventually and that's truly all that matters.
I have learned, however, that Grace appears all the sooner if we just let go - of the sadness, desperation, anger, false hope - and believe that one day everything will be fine again. It's amazing how quickly Grace can and will appear when we do that. I can't say that's always the easiest thing to do, but with faith and trust it does come easier.
Nine years ago tomorrow was one of the crappiest days of my life. It was also the day the best chapter of my life began. From crappy to great. It happens if we let it. Sure, it took some time for me to understand all that and perspective always adds IQ points, but I'm here now and truth be told I have been for awhile.
I am thankful for that extraordinary day. Yes, thankful. Without it, I wouldn't be where I am and I like where I am. That's not to say that us staying together would have made for a miserable life. I'm sure we would have had a good time together. We always did. I am just fairly certain that I would not be THIS person. In my opinion, and I'm allowed to have one, THIS PERSON ROCKS. So there.
About that dream... It was a good one. Let's leave it at that.
No harm. No foul. I do it twice a year at least, three times if I remember her birthday. She is synonymous with early May and late-mid January without question. These were our times for better or worse. May was better and January worse, but in the subsequent near decade I've come to see them as the absolute best decision I ever made and the absolute best decision ever made for me.
Old chapters end and new ones begin without notice or warning. Sometimes those things that begin great end crappy and those things that begin crappy end great. And really, 'crappy' is relative and tends to ease with time regardless, at least for me, so it's hard for me to dwell. Grace appeared eventually and that's truly all that matters.
I have learned, however, that Grace appears all the sooner if we just let go - of the sadness, desperation, anger, false hope - and believe that one day everything will be fine again. It's amazing how quickly Grace can and will appear when we do that. I can't say that's always the easiest thing to do, but with faith and trust it does come easier.
Nine years ago tomorrow was one of the crappiest days of my life. It was also the day the best chapter of my life began. From crappy to great. It happens if we let it. Sure, it took some time for me to understand all that and perspective always adds IQ points, but I'm here now and truth be told I have been for awhile.
I am thankful for that extraordinary day. Yes, thankful. Without it, I wouldn't be where I am and I like where I am. That's not to say that us staying together would have made for a miserable life. I'm sure we would have had a good time together. We always did. I am just fairly certain that I would not be THIS person. In my opinion, and I'm allowed to have one, THIS PERSON ROCKS. So there.
About that dream... It was a good one. Let's leave it at that.
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