She Was

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I'm going to say it right here for all to see (and read). The best thing that happened was that it didn't happen. I suppose it could have. We had our chances. I think anyway. Or maybe it was just my imagination. But I swear that one time, it's what she wanted. Too? Yes, I suppose I wanted it, too. I was young then and so new to it all. I wasn't out, but I was sure that I liked girls. Well, women. I liked her. A lot. I did all the stupid things I've learned not to do when crushing on a straight woman. Ok, on any woman. I wasn't crazy, just earnest. In hindsight, I was a probably a dumbass in many ways, but at least my heart was pure. She was my first Rodeo, the one who set the standard, the one who helped me understand so much about myself. When she told me she loved me, for the first time in my life, I didn't see it as a character flaw. For some reason, I believed her. Partly because I wanted to and partly because I knew I'd never win a debate with her. She was strength and everything beautiful I could imagine. At the time. I've grown since; I imagine she has, too. What was was and what wasn't thankfully wasn't. All that matters is that once upon a time, she was. I'm good with that.

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