Between Can and Can't
The difference between can and can't is a small, thin, nearly infinitesimal line. It's best not to tell me I can't because I'm going to insist that I can. I've been to 'can't' and I tend to like 'can' better. There's always the murky, ugly possibility of failure when you step away from 'can't' and reach for 'can', but then again 'can't' never accomplished anything anyway. 'Can' at least gets you off the dock and to the starting line. What happens next is up to God, endurance, persistance, dumb luck, and maybe a little smart luck. Sure, I've blown chunks (literally) and broken my leg on the way to 'can', but then again I've collected a couple really cool trophies and a whole lot of self-satisfaction the times I've gotten all the way there. 'Can' just feels better.
Endurance is a state of mind. Truly the body will go where the mind allows it to. Well, at least that's how it works for me. My body can do anything. It'll go and go and go. It has the unique ability to persevere through anything I ask it to. I am lucky in this regard. I can't imagine having a body that liked to give out before my mind did. For me, it's mind over matter. My mind has to want to endure, persevere, keep going. Given my ADD issues and constant desire to multitask, this is by no means an easy endeavor. To do anything for an hour or more (and potentially up to seven hours straight), especially something that requires a modicum of pain, is a tough sell. It's not like I'm dumb and can easily convince myself to buy into every manner of foolishness. Plus, I have a superlatively low tolerance for boredom. I see it as nothing short of a miracle that I've trained for a marathon and run for hours on end. Of course, that was back in the day when I was crazy with anorexia and before the ADD really set in. Convincing my scattered mind that it not only 'can' but that it also wants to is going to be the difficult part this go-round.
The good thing is that I'm pretty sure I want to. I want to learn to swim and push myself to complete an entire triathlon myself. Then I want to step it up and finish a 70.3. That's a half Ironman and will take 7+ hours of constant focus to complete. I'd also like to run another marathon. I mean, I why not? I believe in 'can'. All I have to do is put in the miles. Incidentally, I have sanity on my side this time. I've got a plan based on the realization that my forty-two year old body won't put up with stupidity like it did when we were twenty-four. Back then, my body said 'can't' (mostly because I left it with no choice). I won't let it again. My mind, body, and spirit are now one.
And as One, we can do anything. I'm not afraid. Granted I probably should be. I guess I'm a little afraid of water and swimming. So yes, that's a reality for me that I will have to fight eventually. On a grander scale, though, I'm not afraid - I'm not afraid of 'can't' or failure or blowing chunks. It is what it is and with a little Grace I can turn it into whatever I want it to be. God assures me that there is reason for everything, including my sore shoulder and bad runs. It's a lock, a guarantee. There is nothing to fear because I 'can' - I can try. I can accomplish. I can learn. I can endure. I can celebrate His light and His Glory within me. I can push myself toward extraordinary. Above all, if I believe that I can, I can. And I will.
Endurance is a state of mind. Truly the body will go where the mind allows it to. Well, at least that's how it works for me. My body can do anything. It'll go and go and go. It has the unique ability to persevere through anything I ask it to. I am lucky in this regard. I can't imagine having a body that liked to give out before my mind did. For me, it's mind over matter. My mind has to want to endure, persevere, keep going. Given my ADD issues and constant desire to multitask, this is by no means an easy endeavor. To do anything for an hour or more (and potentially up to seven hours straight), especially something that requires a modicum of pain, is a tough sell. It's not like I'm dumb and can easily convince myself to buy into every manner of foolishness. Plus, I have a superlatively low tolerance for boredom. I see it as nothing short of a miracle that I've trained for a marathon and run for hours on end. Of course, that was back in the day when I was crazy with anorexia and before the ADD really set in. Convincing my scattered mind that it not only 'can' but that it also wants to is going to be the difficult part this go-round.
The good thing is that I'm pretty sure I want to. I want to learn to swim and push myself to complete an entire triathlon myself. Then I want to step it up and finish a 70.3. That's a half Ironman and will take 7+ hours of constant focus to complete. I'd also like to run another marathon. I mean, I why not? I believe in 'can'. All I have to do is put in the miles. Incidentally, I have sanity on my side this time. I've got a plan based on the realization that my forty-two year old body won't put up with stupidity like it did when we were twenty-four. Back then, my body said 'can't' (mostly because I left it with no choice). I won't let it again. My mind, body, and spirit are now one.
And as One, we can do anything. I'm not afraid. Granted I probably should be. I guess I'm a little afraid of water and swimming. So yes, that's a reality for me that I will have to fight eventually. On a grander scale, though, I'm not afraid - I'm not afraid of 'can't' or failure or blowing chunks. It is what it is and with a little Grace I can turn it into whatever I want it to be. God assures me that there is reason for everything, including my sore shoulder and bad runs. It's a lock, a guarantee. There is nothing to fear because I 'can' - I can try. I can accomplish. I can learn. I can endure. I can celebrate His light and His Glory within me. I can push myself toward extraordinary. Above all, if I believe that I can, I can. And I will.
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