Church Shopping
I've been church shopping for awhile now. I know that may seem odd coming from the non-Christian who has never attended church in her life and has repeatedly maintained that religion is against her religion. However, my growing faith has been begging for an outlet and a bit of fellowship. I want somewhere to go and people to go with. I've come a long way on my own, but I can't be my be-all-end-all. For my faith to continue to grow, I need to discuss, debate, listen, and learn. And to do that, as sucky and out of character as it may seem, I need a church.
I can't say my shopping was very fruitful. The cornerstone of my faith is pretty far off the well beaten Christian path. It's not Jewish or Buddhist or Hindu either. Not really anyway. I'm basically an amalgam of a bunch of spiritual junk mixed up and splashed around in a chaotic fashion. My spirituality is the sum total of my eclectic experiences with God. I get it and I can explain it, but it doesn't quite make others tingle with enthusiasm. Usually it makes them wrinkle their noses as if a skunk has just entered the room and riffle the cabinets for some holy water. Unfortunately, I can't say my response to them is much different (probably minus the search for holy water). So no, I wasn't having much luck.
I did my share of on-line research. I figured there had to be a religion, and thus a church, out there that would accept my diversity of thought and opinion regarding religion, spirituality, and lifestyle. I looked at Baha'i. No. Judaism. No. Mormonism. Fuck no. Hinduism. No. Lutheranism. No. Epsicopalianism. No. Catholicism. No. Buddhism. No. I looked at 'non-denominational' Christian. No. No religion suited my needs.
I thought that once I came to terms with Jesus maybe I could blow the Pixie Dust off Christianity and make it suit my purposes. I could sit quietly and pick and choose what worked for me. I would say the right things, celebrate the holidays, and perhaps even admit that I 'believe' in Jesus. I would keep my theories and beliefs to myself and fight the nearly overwhelming urge to cough, "Bullshit!' whenever I heard something that smacked of, well, bullshit. I just couldn't do it. I couldn't stomach the superiority complex and the ever-present 'it's our way or the highway to Hell' message. That Pixie Dust? It's super glued in place. Try all you want. It's not going anywhere.
Just as I reached my wit's end and thought I was going to be eternally on my own, my sister recommended a church I'd never heard of - Unity. She had attended a service with a friend in St. Paul and thought that their openness of spirit and faith might suit me. She gave me a few of the pamphlets they handed out and, after a quick perusal, I was interested. They sounded like me. Maybe I wasn't alone in this. While they mentioned Jesus, they didn't seem to be dominated by him. I found a Unity congregation in Austin and went to a service. Minus the singing, clapping, and hand-holding, it was decent. Jesus was there, just not center stage, but the typical Christian superiority complex was not.
In a way, I feel like I may have found a religious home, so to speak. Unity does not match my beliefs perfectly, but I think that their diversity of spirit will accept me and my eccentricities. And while I may detest the music and wish for more sermon, I realize most celebrate their God differently than I do and that I must take the good with the bad. So, where do I go from here? Unfortunately, I now have to work most Sundays so I am unable to attend services regularly, however I have promised myself that I will go when I am scheduled off (and not too hungover).
Ultimately, I think I will need to take a more active role somehow if I am to fulfill what I currently believe is my calling. Unity offers a Masters in Divinity and a path toward ordination. Yes, the girl who likes girls, loves to say 'fuck', and occasionally drinks too much wants to be an ordained minister and lead a Unity congregation. In small town Arkansas. Oh, this also means that she will eventually call herself a 'Christian'.
Of course, you will call her 'Reverend Stacee' or simply 'The Rev'. Come with an open mind or a closed one. Doesn't matter. With any luck, you'll leave with the spirit of God around you and a belief that a Christ-like life is key to peace and the world's salvation. That's my goal anyway.
I can't say my shopping was very fruitful. The cornerstone of my faith is pretty far off the well beaten Christian path. It's not Jewish or Buddhist or Hindu either. Not really anyway. I'm basically an amalgam of a bunch of spiritual junk mixed up and splashed around in a chaotic fashion. My spirituality is the sum total of my eclectic experiences with God. I get it and I can explain it, but it doesn't quite make others tingle with enthusiasm. Usually it makes them wrinkle their noses as if a skunk has just entered the room and riffle the cabinets for some holy water. Unfortunately, I can't say my response to them is much different (probably minus the search for holy water). So no, I wasn't having much luck.
I did my share of on-line research. I figured there had to be a religion, and thus a church, out there that would accept my diversity of thought and opinion regarding religion, spirituality, and lifestyle. I looked at Baha'i. No. Judaism. No. Mormonism. Fuck no. Hinduism. No. Lutheranism. No. Epsicopalianism. No. Catholicism. No. Buddhism. No. I looked at 'non-denominational' Christian. No. No religion suited my needs.
I thought that once I came to terms with Jesus maybe I could blow the Pixie Dust off Christianity and make it suit my purposes. I could sit quietly and pick and choose what worked for me. I would say the right things, celebrate the holidays, and perhaps even admit that I 'believe' in Jesus. I would keep my theories and beliefs to myself and fight the nearly overwhelming urge to cough, "Bullshit!' whenever I heard something that smacked of, well, bullshit. I just couldn't do it. I couldn't stomach the superiority complex and the ever-present 'it's our way or the highway to Hell' message. That Pixie Dust? It's super glued in place. Try all you want. It's not going anywhere.
Just as I reached my wit's end and thought I was going to be eternally on my own, my sister recommended a church I'd never heard of - Unity. She had attended a service with a friend in St. Paul and thought that their openness of spirit and faith might suit me. She gave me a few of the pamphlets they handed out and, after a quick perusal, I was interested. They sounded like me. Maybe I wasn't alone in this. While they mentioned Jesus, they didn't seem to be dominated by him. I found a Unity congregation in Austin and went to a service. Minus the singing, clapping, and hand-holding, it was decent. Jesus was there, just not center stage, but the typical Christian superiority complex was not.
In a way, I feel like I may have found a religious home, so to speak. Unity does not match my beliefs perfectly, but I think that their diversity of spirit will accept me and my eccentricities. And while I may detest the music and wish for more sermon, I realize most celebrate their God differently than I do and that I must take the good with the bad. So, where do I go from here? Unfortunately, I now have to work most Sundays so I am unable to attend services regularly, however I have promised myself that I will go when I am scheduled off (and not too hungover).
Ultimately, I think I will need to take a more active role somehow if I am to fulfill what I currently believe is my calling. Unity offers a Masters in Divinity and a path toward ordination. Yes, the girl who likes girls, loves to say 'fuck', and occasionally drinks too much wants to be an ordained minister and lead a Unity congregation. In small town Arkansas. Oh, this also means that she will eventually call herself a 'Christian'.
Of course, you will call her 'Reverend Stacee' or simply 'The Rev'. Come with an open mind or a closed one. Doesn't matter. With any luck, you'll leave with the spirit of God around you and a belief that a Christ-like life is key to peace and the world's salvation. That's my goal anyway.
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