Epiphanies Included
The thought occurred to me this morning, as I was doing my best to meander and failing miserably at it, that I never do anything that doesn't have purpose. When this epiphany happened, I was out for a walk - I intended to stop for coffee and write at some point (Of course, I have to say "and write" because I can't simply just have a coffee and be) - and I approached a crossroads. Stay on the road? Or take the longer way around through a park? I'm on vacation, I rationalized. I don't actually have to be anywhere or do anything. I can take as long as I want to get where I'm going. I stopped to snap a few pictures, took a side trail to see a fountain, watched a group of older people doing Tai Chi. Briefly. All briefly. Regardless where I am and I am still who I am. And that's when it came to me. I can't not have purpose.
A walk has to have a destination (or at the very least get me to my daily step goal). An eclectic bit a blathering has to become a blog post. A workout has to push the limits of my fitness...and burn calories. Food has calories that must be counted. Sitting is rest. A nap recharges. Reading is research. Even being social has purpose. It's something I make myself do to seem and be more normal.
I suppose it takes being on vacation to have such realizations. At home, I am constantly busy and there is never enough time in a day to get everything I think I need to get done done. Pointless activities, like meandering through a park or watching other people do stuff, suck away time I don't have. They are luxuries I can ill afford. Epiphanies included.
And apparently, it's habit. What did I write last night regarding my vacation? "I have - have to - make each moment of each day count for something." No relaxation. No sleeping in. No sitting on the beach. No sipping a beverage on a sunny patio. No window shopping. No real shopping for that matter (unless I'm out of clean undergarments or need a souvenir for someone back home). No reading for pleasure. No wandering from place to place. No coffee for the sake of coffee. No writing for the sake of writing.
Normal people take vacations. I take run-write-cations. There is a difference. I wake up with an alarm everyday. Every. Single. Damn. Day. That's what you do when the goal is to suck the life out of every moment. Sleep until noon? What, and miss the breakfast buffet at the hotel? Not a chance. Hell, if you get up early enough, you can squeeze two meals out of it before it closes in the later morning.
So, what does my typical vacation day look like? Up early for breakfast (My alarm usually goes off fifteen minutes before the breakfast buffet opens). Eat. Sort through social media comments from the night before and check blog stats while breakfast digests. Stretch. Run 6-8 miles. Shower and get ready for the day. Hit breakfast buffet a second time. Pick a direction to walk. Walk and quickly snap pictures. Find a place for coffee along the way. Write. Post blog. Walk some more. Decide on dinner. Return to the hotel. Sort through the days pictures and put together social media posts. Walk some more and maybe write some more. Set alarm. Go to bed. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.
The most common comment I get from friends about my vacations? "Isn't that what you do at home on your days off?" Yeah, pretty much. They seldom ask follow up questions and usually never ask to travel with me again. I consider it a win. And, seriously, what they do on vacation probably mirrors what they do at home on their days off, too. Lay around at home becomes lay around at the beach. Go ahead, judge me some more (If I'd written that as a text message, I'd have added a wink or the sarcastic face emoji so the recipient wouldn't get as pissed).
Look, I wish I could put my sense of purpose on a high shelf and forget about it sometimes. But damn... Calories have to be burned, steps counted, and words written. I don't have time for superfluous bullshit that doesn't accomplish anything. Sit and contemplate the world? I suppose I could, but I'd end up making a blog post out of it (Evidence? My attempt at meandering through a park this morning resulted in this post). Read for pleasure? Oh my God, no. I read purely because it makes me sit still and not multitask for a hot minute. Run for fun? Jesus. Have you ever run? It's never fun (Ok.....maybe if you run with the right person it can be).
Alright, alright... I'll try this vacation. I'll try to take a break and just be. Occasionally. I'm not going to make a day out of it or anything, because, Christ, that'd be a waste of a good vacation. And a vacation is a terrible thing to waste.
A walk has to have a destination (or at the very least get me to my daily step goal). An eclectic bit a blathering has to become a blog post. A workout has to push the limits of my fitness...and burn calories. Food has calories that must be counted. Sitting is rest. A nap recharges. Reading is research. Even being social has purpose. It's something I make myself do to seem and be more normal.
I suppose it takes being on vacation to have such realizations. At home, I am constantly busy and there is never enough time in a day to get everything I think I need to get done done. Pointless activities, like meandering through a park or watching other people do stuff, suck away time I don't have. They are luxuries I can ill afford. Epiphanies included.
And apparently, it's habit. What did I write last night regarding my vacation? "I have - have to - make each moment of each day count for something." No relaxation. No sleeping in. No sitting on the beach. No sipping a beverage on a sunny patio. No window shopping. No real shopping for that matter (unless I'm out of clean undergarments or need a souvenir for someone back home). No reading for pleasure. No wandering from place to place. No coffee for the sake of coffee. No writing for the sake of writing.
Normal people take vacations. I take run-write-cations. There is a difference. I wake up with an alarm everyday. Every. Single. Damn. Day. That's what you do when the goal is to suck the life out of every moment. Sleep until noon? What, and miss the breakfast buffet at the hotel? Not a chance. Hell, if you get up early enough, you can squeeze two meals out of it before it closes in the later morning.
So, what does my typical vacation day look like? Up early for breakfast (My alarm usually goes off fifteen minutes before the breakfast buffet opens). Eat. Sort through social media comments from the night before and check blog stats while breakfast digests. Stretch. Run 6-8 miles. Shower and get ready for the day. Hit breakfast buffet a second time. Pick a direction to walk. Walk and quickly snap pictures. Find a place for coffee along the way. Write. Post blog. Walk some more. Decide on dinner. Return to the hotel. Sort through the days pictures and put together social media posts. Walk some more and maybe write some more. Set alarm. Go to bed. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.
The most common comment I get from friends about my vacations? "Isn't that what you do at home on your days off?" Yeah, pretty much. They seldom ask follow up questions and usually never ask to travel with me again. I consider it a win. And, seriously, what they do on vacation probably mirrors what they do at home on their days off, too. Lay around at home becomes lay around at the beach. Go ahead, judge me some more (If I'd written that as a text message, I'd have added a wink or the sarcastic face emoji so the recipient wouldn't get as pissed).
Look, I wish I could put my sense of purpose on a high shelf and forget about it sometimes. But damn... Calories have to be burned, steps counted, and words written. I don't have time for superfluous bullshit that doesn't accomplish anything. Sit and contemplate the world? I suppose I could, but I'd end up making a blog post out of it (Evidence? My attempt at meandering through a park this morning resulted in this post). Read for pleasure? Oh my God, no. I read purely because it makes me sit still and not multitask for a hot minute. Run for fun? Jesus. Have you ever run? It's never fun (Ok.....maybe if you run with the right person it can be).
Alright, alright... I'll try this vacation. I'll try to take a break and just be. Occasionally. I'm not going to make a day out of it or anything, because, Christ, that'd be a waste of a good vacation. And a vacation is a terrible thing to waste.
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