The Girl with the Golden Vagina
There's a look that some women have. It's the attractive ones. Let me re-phrase. It's the ones who KNOW they are attractive. The look is specific, unique, and impossible to mistake. It's the look of a woman who's been told she's beautiful a few too many times. It's the don't-bother-me-unless-you-can-come-up-with-something-more-original look. She's heard it all. Beautiful, pretty, gorgeous, fabulous, amazing, sexy, perfect. Boredom set in long ago and it shows. Reference Danica Patrick and Angelina Jolie. They ARE and we are damn lucky to share the planet with them.
Reference also the pretty girl manager at the gym. She's beautiful, I'll give you that. I'd even argue that she's gorgeous and sexy in a way that could be attractive to me. I've never seen her smile or heard her speak. She's a walking closed sign and as such I've never spoken to her. Not even 'Hi'. The look she gives me speaks volumes (essentially, fuck off if you're not coming with something life-changingly creative), so what would I say? In her world, everyone talks to her, everyone says hi everyone tells her she's beautiful. 'Hi' or any other cordial greeting isn't going to cut it.
I'm sure she's waiting for it. Sooner or later the lesbian with the fair to decent arms and an ability to run longer than most is going to speak. Ho-hum. They all eventually do. All of them. As in every post-pubescent-non-vision-impaired male and every crass dyky-looking lesbian. More than half are assholes and the others are just boring, insipid fools who actually think they have chance.
Ok, sure.... I agree that like all the other pretty girls in the world, she's heard every line known to mankind. Why is she different? Why does she have the look? I know plenty of gorgeous women (ask me about the 'Hot Friends') who don't act like closed off bitches. They are friendly, open, and down to earth. They smile. Oh, they know they're pretty, but not like she does. They have a vanity that mingles with a self-deprecating confidence. They are their biggest critic and biggest fan. They know they're attractive but they seem thankful, apologetic even.
She's shy? Fuck. Really? Yes, yes... I'm fully aware that shy pretty girls get a bum rap because everyone assumes they are bitchy rather than introverted. However, she works at a gym as a manager. Danica Patrick and Angelina Jolie are media mavens. They aren't shy. I think I'd be more willing to accept the shy excuse if they'd chosen less people oriented professions. Speaking from my own personal experience, you can't be shy and have success working with the public. I'm the first to admit that I'm shy and introverted in my personal life. My co-workers are always shocked when I tell them that I'm not outgoing in the 'real world'. At work, I'm the prom queen, the popular girl in school who speaks to everyone. Out in the world, I'm the girl in the corner who observes everything but rarely speaks. It is possible to have two distinctly different personalities. Unfortunately, Pretty Gym girl appears to just have the one and it comes off bitchy, not shy.
And really, she chose to work in a gym. A place where people are hyper-sensitive about how they look and how others look? No one enters into a gym/fitness career without having a certain vanity about them. Gym people are esthetically focused. Nuh-uh, it's about health? Sure, that's why we all pose in the mirror as much as we do. So we can see how healthy we are. Riiight. This girl is no different. She wants to get checked out. She wants to be the prettiest, fittest, hottest. The problem is that, in her mind, she's there and now she's bored.
At least that's the vibe I get. Rightfully so, I could be wrong. Maybe she's shy. Maybe she has super low self-esteem. Maybe she doesn't assume she's the hottest thing going. Maybe she doesn't think that the rest of us are just lucky to be around her. I'm going to put all these theories to the test. I'm going so smile and speak to Pretty Gym Manager next time I see her. It's totally against my gym personae because I rarely speak to anyone when I'm working out. I put on my headphones and disappear. However, for this project, I'll make the exception.
So, what am I going to say? I really have no idea. As stated previously 'Hi' isn't going to cut it. Here's an idea - How about? 'Hi. Didn't know if you were aware or not, but your vagina is not made of gold. Just thought you'd like to know. Oh, and by the way, I'm Stacee'. I wish I was brazen enough to say it. I'm sure I'd get points for originality. And a slap for honesty. I guess being shy has it's perks; thankfully, I don't have the ability or confidence to be brutally anything. I'm sure I'll think of something in the moment so I'm not planning to worry about it.
Suffice it to say that The Girl with the Golden Vagina is going to have her stuck up reverie shattered by the lesbian with the fair to decent arms. I'd love to get a 'Hi' back, but I'll settle for a smile. It's not like I want a chance at anything. I just want to know if I'm right about The Look, her look. Is she shy or is she a really a bitch? Once I get that answer, I'll move on to Danica and Angelina. One way or the other and shy or not, I'm going to get tot the bottom of this so stay tuned.
Reference also the pretty girl manager at the gym. She's beautiful, I'll give you that. I'd even argue that she's gorgeous and sexy in a way that could be attractive to me. I've never seen her smile or heard her speak. She's a walking closed sign and as such I've never spoken to her. Not even 'Hi'. The look she gives me speaks volumes (essentially, fuck off if you're not coming with something life-changingly creative), so what would I say? In her world, everyone talks to her, everyone says hi everyone tells her she's beautiful. 'Hi' or any other cordial greeting isn't going to cut it.
I'm sure she's waiting for it. Sooner or later the lesbian with the fair to decent arms and an ability to run longer than most is going to speak. Ho-hum. They all eventually do. All of them. As in every post-pubescent-non-vision-impaired male and every crass dyky-looking lesbian. More than half are assholes and the others are just boring, insipid fools who actually think they have chance.
Ok, sure.... I agree that like all the other pretty girls in the world, she's heard every line known to mankind. Why is she different? Why does she have the look? I know plenty of gorgeous women (ask me about the 'Hot Friends') who don't act like closed off bitches. They are friendly, open, and down to earth. They smile. Oh, they know they're pretty, but not like she does. They have a vanity that mingles with a self-deprecating confidence. They are their biggest critic and biggest fan. They know they're attractive but they seem thankful, apologetic even.
She's shy? Fuck. Really? Yes, yes... I'm fully aware that shy pretty girls get a bum rap because everyone assumes they are bitchy rather than introverted. However, she works at a gym as a manager. Danica Patrick and Angelina Jolie are media mavens. They aren't shy. I think I'd be more willing to accept the shy excuse if they'd chosen less people oriented professions. Speaking from my own personal experience, you can't be shy and have success working with the public. I'm the first to admit that I'm shy and introverted in my personal life. My co-workers are always shocked when I tell them that I'm not outgoing in the 'real world'. At work, I'm the prom queen, the popular girl in school who speaks to everyone. Out in the world, I'm the girl in the corner who observes everything but rarely speaks. It is possible to have two distinctly different personalities. Unfortunately, Pretty Gym girl appears to just have the one and it comes off bitchy, not shy.
And really, she chose to work in a gym. A place where people are hyper-sensitive about how they look and how others look? No one enters into a gym/fitness career without having a certain vanity about them. Gym people are esthetically focused. Nuh-uh, it's about health? Sure, that's why we all pose in the mirror as much as we do. So we can see how healthy we are. Riiight. This girl is no different. She wants to get checked out. She wants to be the prettiest, fittest, hottest. The problem is that, in her mind, she's there and now she's bored.
At least that's the vibe I get. Rightfully so, I could be wrong. Maybe she's shy. Maybe she has super low self-esteem. Maybe she doesn't assume she's the hottest thing going. Maybe she doesn't think that the rest of us are just lucky to be around her. I'm going to put all these theories to the test. I'm going so smile and speak to Pretty Gym Manager next time I see her. It's totally against my gym personae because I rarely speak to anyone when I'm working out. I put on my headphones and disappear. However, for this project, I'll make the exception.
So, what am I going to say? I really have no idea. As stated previously 'Hi' isn't going to cut it. Here's an idea - How about? 'Hi. Didn't know if you were aware or not, but your vagina is not made of gold. Just thought you'd like to know. Oh, and by the way, I'm Stacee'. I wish I was brazen enough to say it. I'm sure I'd get points for originality. And a slap for honesty. I guess being shy has it's perks; thankfully, I don't have the ability or confidence to be brutally anything. I'm sure I'll think of something in the moment so I'm not planning to worry about it.
Suffice it to say that The Girl with the Golden Vagina is going to have her stuck up reverie shattered by the lesbian with the fair to decent arms. I'd love to get a 'Hi' back, but I'll settle for a smile. It's not like I want a chance at anything. I just want to know if I'm right about The Look, her look. Is she shy or is she a really a bitch? Once I get that answer, I'll move on to Danica and Angelina. One way or the other and shy or not, I'm going to get tot the bottom of this so stay tuned.
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