Forty-Three and Beyond
'Because forty-three can happen to me or I can make it happen.'
~ From a social networking 'check-in' at Planet Fitness by Stacee Harris two days before her forty-third birthday.
I wrote that and I mean it. In truth, it's a paradigm shift; a change in my way of thinking. I've always approached age with an 'it's whatever' attitude. Another year older, another year passed...Whatever. I didn't seem to care one way or the other. Since turning thirty, I've never looked my age and routinely get asked to see my ID for 'proof' when I tell how old I am. In other words, I look young and I act young. As such age means little to me. Right now. Today. At the age of almost forty-three. However, I would very much like to have a similar attitude well into my seventies and beyond. The way I see it, I'm not even halfway through this life. I still have a lot to do and a lot to accomplish. Many people think that when you hit a certain age, you're done and able to retire from life. I don't believe this is so. I want to make the most of each year, attack it, own it. In order to do this, I need to shed my 'it's whatever' attitude and make an effort to make things happen.
Age is real. It can make you sick, infirm, and sore. It can lead to medical expenses and a loss of mental acuity. It can leave you bedridden and wishing you had less time rather than more. The interesting thing about age is that it can happen at any age. I have friends in their forties who talk about how old they feel. This hurts, that hurts, and they just can't anymore. Every ache and pain is a harbinger of things to come. Age is here and it's only going to get worse.
At forty? Really? Interestingly, others see age as just a number. I know people in their seventies who are still completing triathlons, working retail jobs, going to college, and adding items to their Bucket List. Age means something to them, but it's all good. They've been making it happen for years. Oh, they know the consequences. I'm sure they've seen friends and siblings go downhill over the years. They simply refuse to stop because they know that once you stop, downhill comes quickly. And once downhill comes, everything becomes an uphill battle.
History puts a lot on us. Hell, at forty, our parents were old. At sixty, they were circling the drain. And at seventy, they were just happy to still be here. Thankfully times change. People are living longer, healthier lives. What used to be old simply isn't any more. In other words, forty is the new twenty. But with wisdom this time.
Turning forty didn't bother me in the least. My twenties sucked and my thirties were only slightly better. I was lost and misguided. I thought I knew what I was doing, but facts are facts. I fucked up right and left and then fucked up again. As I worked my way through my late thirties, I started to get it. I finally understood who I was and who I wanted to be. With this knowledge, I determined that forty was going to be MY DECADE, the decade when I stopped fucking up and started living true to myself. In addition, I was going to redefine the decade. I wasn't going to be old or get old. I was going to be fit and fabulous. I was going to own it.
I've done quite a bit since turning forty three years ago. Let's see...
* Started a new life in a new city where I knew no one.
* Re-started my running career and won a non-Masters level race.
* Added 'Learn to swim and complete a triathlon' to my Bucket List.
* (Self) Published my first book and started working on my second and my third.
* Became a Christian.
* Added 'Pursue a degree in Divinity' to my Bucket List.
* Avoided The Break Up Diet.
* Reduced debt.
* Reached a level of fitness I hadn't seen since my late twenties.
It seems like I've achieved a lot. Seems being the key word. I can't help but think that I could have done more. I won't say my accomplishments are due to chance or dumb luck, but they weren't due to tip of the sword focus either. Historically, I've let life happen to me; I meander through rather than taking any real solid, purposeful action. I do what I do and I don't do what I don't do. The only difference between the first three years of forty and my twenties/thirties was intelligence and the minimization of fuck ups. In other words, I fucked up less, but still lacked focus.
Now at forty-three, I'm determined to add focus. I'm neither getting younger nor older, but the years keep passing. What I decide to do with those years is up to me. I can waste them or I can use them to my advantage. The way I see it, I've got at least forty good years left. There is no reason why I can't go back to school, race in all fifty states, and write several best sellers. If it's going to happen, I have to make it happen.
So, what do I plan to do with forty-three?
* Become officially debt-free.
* Learn to swim.
* Take a class in Divinity.
* Move forward with my application to the Harvard Divinity School.
* (Self) Publish my second book.
* Stop procrastinating fiction.
* Run.
If I can accomplish all that, it'll be a good start. It may sound trite, but there is no finish line. It's not good enough to scratch items off our Bucket Lists as we age. Every year we need to add something. Heck, I want to still be adding to my Bucket List when I'm eighty. Because if we're scratching AND adding, we're still living. To do anything less means we're heading for downhill. I, for one, refuse to go downhill without a fight. Life is in the living and I am determined to make it happen. At forty-three and beyond.
~ From a social networking 'check-in' at Planet Fitness by Stacee Harris two days before her forty-third birthday.
I wrote that and I mean it. In truth, it's a paradigm shift; a change in my way of thinking. I've always approached age with an 'it's whatever' attitude. Another year older, another year passed...Whatever. I didn't seem to care one way or the other. Since turning thirty, I've never looked my age and routinely get asked to see my ID for 'proof' when I tell how old I am. In other words, I look young and I act young. As such age means little to me. Right now. Today. At the age of almost forty-three. However, I would very much like to have a similar attitude well into my seventies and beyond. The way I see it, I'm not even halfway through this life. I still have a lot to do and a lot to accomplish. Many people think that when you hit a certain age, you're done and able to retire from life. I don't believe this is so. I want to make the most of each year, attack it, own it. In order to do this, I need to shed my 'it's whatever' attitude and make an effort to make things happen.
Age is real. It can make you sick, infirm, and sore. It can lead to medical expenses and a loss of mental acuity. It can leave you bedridden and wishing you had less time rather than more. The interesting thing about age is that it can happen at any age. I have friends in their forties who talk about how old they feel. This hurts, that hurts, and they just can't anymore. Every ache and pain is a harbinger of things to come. Age is here and it's only going to get worse.
At forty? Really? Interestingly, others see age as just a number. I know people in their seventies who are still completing triathlons, working retail jobs, going to college, and adding items to their Bucket List. Age means something to them, but it's all good. They've been making it happen for years. Oh, they know the consequences. I'm sure they've seen friends and siblings go downhill over the years. They simply refuse to stop because they know that once you stop, downhill comes quickly. And once downhill comes, everything becomes an uphill battle.
History puts a lot on us. Hell, at forty, our parents were old. At sixty, they were circling the drain. And at seventy, they were just happy to still be here. Thankfully times change. People are living longer, healthier lives. What used to be old simply isn't any more. In other words, forty is the new twenty. But with wisdom this time.
Turning forty didn't bother me in the least. My twenties sucked and my thirties were only slightly better. I was lost and misguided. I thought I knew what I was doing, but facts are facts. I fucked up right and left and then fucked up again. As I worked my way through my late thirties, I started to get it. I finally understood who I was and who I wanted to be. With this knowledge, I determined that forty was going to be MY DECADE, the decade when I stopped fucking up and started living true to myself. In addition, I was going to redefine the decade. I wasn't going to be old or get old. I was going to be fit and fabulous. I was going to own it.
I've done quite a bit since turning forty three years ago. Let's see...
* Started a new life in a new city where I knew no one.
* Re-started my running career and won a non-Masters level race.
* Added 'Learn to swim and complete a triathlon' to my Bucket List.
* (Self) Published my first book and started working on my second and my third.
* Became a Christian.
* Added 'Pursue a degree in Divinity' to my Bucket List.
* Avoided The Break Up Diet.
* Reduced debt.
* Reached a level of fitness I hadn't seen since my late twenties.
It seems like I've achieved a lot. Seems being the key word. I can't help but think that I could have done more. I won't say my accomplishments are due to chance or dumb luck, but they weren't due to tip of the sword focus either. Historically, I've let life happen to me; I meander through rather than taking any real solid, purposeful action. I do what I do and I don't do what I don't do. The only difference between the first three years of forty and my twenties/thirties was intelligence and the minimization of fuck ups. In other words, I fucked up less, but still lacked focus.
Now at forty-three, I'm determined to add focus. I'm neither getting younger nor older, but the years keep passing. What I decide to do with those years is up to me. I can waste them or I can use them to my advantage. The way I see it, I've got at least forty good years left. There is no reason why I can't go back to school, race in all fifty states, and write several best sellers. If it's going to happen, I have to make it happen.
So, what do I plan to do with forty-three?
* Become officially debt-free.
* Learn to swim.
* Take a class in Divinity.
* Move forward with my application to the Harvard Divinity School.
* (Self) Publish my second book.
* Stop procrastinating fiction.
* Run.
If I can accomplish all that, it'll be a good start. It may sound trite, but there is no finish line. It's not good enough to scratch items off our Bucket Lists as we age. Every year we need to add something. Heck, I want to still be adding to my Bucket List when I'm eighty. Because if we're scratching AND adding, we're still living. To do anything less means we're heading for downhill. I, for one, refuse to go downhill without a fight. Life is in the living and I am determined to make it happen. At forty-three and beyond.
Comments
Post a Comment