Figment of My Motivation

I'm going to call it a figment of my imagination. Others may prefer to call it an obsession. Tomato, tomato. Either way, if it gets me to the gym with increased regularity, I'm for it. Suffice it to say, I need to get to the gym more often than I have been. I have reason to be fit and there's no way prepare for that at the last minute. Now is the time and I need motivation. Which is where my imagination comes in.

I'm not good at going to the gym. I'm not. I don't like working out and I don't like being at 'the gym'. Even worse, I don't like my gym. I've tried a couple since moving to Austin and I haven't warmed to any. I see my current gym as the lesser of all possible evils. Sure, the customer service sucks (I've been a member for nearly two years and no one knows my name), but it's cheap, convenient, and offers free tanning. If I go at the right time, it's almost tolerable. Almost.

The 'right time' is defined by a couple things. Given that I don't like crowds and like to get in and out quickly, I avoid the busy times. If I have to go on weekdays between 5pm and 7pm, I just won't go. It's that easy. I'm not going to fight the hoards simply to get a treadmill and some mirror space. There are other things I can do, like run or ride my Spin bike at home. Of course, I'm bored of those and need to get back to lifting weights, so I'm newly rededicated to taking advantage of the non-busy times.

Another definition of 'right time' is anytime the Pretty Girl Manager (aka The Girl with the Golden Vagina) is there. I noticed her long ago, but I never let her be motivating until recently. She motivates me a couple ways - (1) She's pretty and (2) she's gives off a vibe that has me thinking she's a stuck up bitch. Let me get it on the record right here and right now - I don't hope to gain anything from her. This isn't some kind of pursuit in the hopes of finding a girlfriend, hookup, or even a friend. In fact, the only thing I'm pursuing is the truth. I want to find out if Golden Va-Jay-Jay is a bitch or simply just shy. I'm leaning toward cast-iron-effin-bitch, but I'm committed to seeing how this thing plays out.

I'm currently in the observe-and-learn portion of the mission. I've done this before. For ten months as a matter of fact. I didn't know what I stood to gain that time, but I remained dedicated nonetheless. In the end, I got fitter with each passing month and wound up dating the object of my imaginings for eight months. Observation is absolutely key. I need to discover patterns, work schedules, and workout routines. I need to know which car she drives and what part of town she lives in.

Yes, I am well aware that those last few statements sound a lot like 'stalking'. I prefer to call it 'recon'. If I'm to logically calculate when and how to interact with her, I need to have all my ducks in a row. To do that, I have to know everything I can possibly know from watching her in and around the gym. I have to ensure that when I finally speak to her, I give her the best possible opportunity to show her true self. The better I play to her strengths, the closer I will come to the truth. Additionally, all these observations will give me strong evidence that may assist me in making my final determination.

Where to start? I need to learn her name. Yeah, really. I don't even know that. Not a clue. And she works there. All the rest where name tags. I've never seen one on her. I'll have to pay closer attention. From there I'll gather what I can and file it all way mentally.

I hate that I need a convoluted reason to go to the gym. I wish I could be like so many people I see there that seem to love it. They spend hours and hours and appear to enjoy every minute of it. I walk in the door and wish I was done. Big screen TVs and music on my iPod aren't enough to motivate me. Knowing that I'm getting fitter and hotter by the day only does so much. I need another reason. I need something far outside of me. I need someone pretty to hope to see. At this point, given the ugly and unfit state of many of my fellow female members, Golden Va-Jay-Jay is all I've got.

Assuredly, I'm building it up in my imagination to be more important than it really is. In the grander scheme of my life, she doesn't matter. Except that I need to get fit and I need motivation. She just happens to be it ('it' not 'IT'). She's my motivation. I'll head to the gym hoping to see her and stay to work out regardless. When all is said and done, I'll be fit enough and hot enough at the exact moment I need to be. If I solve the great mystery and manage to get a smile out of the bitchy gym manager along the way so much the better.

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