Tired Motivation
'Pray that ye not fall into temptation.'
~ Luke 22:40
Can I get an 'Amen'? I'm on Day 3 and I can't say I'm struggling, but I'm not skipping along with confidence either. I'm tired - just plain tired and tired of it. I feel like I've been doing this awhile now and I have, with piss poor results. That's why while on vacation (never a good time to plan anything, by the way) I took a cold, hard look at the landscape of my life and decided I needed a change. I've gained nearly eight pounds in the last year, most of them in the last six months. After I started running. I don't quite understand that very frustrating connection, but needless to say the weight gain has to stop.
Two weeks before my vacation (a horrid time to make changes, by the way), I made a few changes. I cut back on a couple random excesses that had become habits - no more french vanilla creamer in my convenience store coffee and no more donuts. Unfortunately such minor changes did little to help given that I spent the majority of the subsequent weekends out of town and unwilling to focus on healthful eating. No creamer is a drop in the bucket compared to hanging out with friends who own a pizza restaurant. Yeah so... I'm back to square one. Sort of. I do have to say my new habits have taken hold so at least my mornings are a bit easier and less caloricly intense.
Here's the crazy thing - Weeks before any of this came into my consciousness, including the weight gain, I cut way back on fast food and drinking. I had re-started my running career and all that just didn't seem to mix well. It wasn't to lose weight, but I had kind of thought I might lose a little. After all, both add a lot of icky, unhealthy calories and their absence should have created some sort of deficit, right? Wrong.
I'm heavier than I've been in years and unhappy. Granted I'm still not 'fat' by most people's standards, but if I don't take action I'll get there. Remember that most overweight people haven't always been that way. Once upon a time they were just a little unhappy about how they looked and felt and did nothing. Fast forward a few years and they're trying out for 'The Biggest Loser'. I don't want to let it get that far. I sense a pattern forming and I really want to change that pattern before it gets too bad. Yes, there are worse things than being overweight (and truthfully I'm a good distance away), but I am intensely interested in my long-term health. My recent physical shows that I am in impeccably good shape. I simply want to be this way when I'm eighty. And still running half-marathons.
Which brings me to my next point. On my vacation, I decided to run my next half marathon in January and my first marathon in nearly two decades in late April. I made the official unofficial announcement yesterday. A friend who competes in Ironman distance triathlons told me that they key to staying focused is to have a solidly established goal - announce it to a crowd or pay for a race. Once you've done those things, you'll feel more motivated to train. Thanks, Josh... Let me sit quiet for a moment. Yeah... it's not working (yet). Of course that was just yesterday and there may still be hope for me. But really shouldn't my motivation be highest in the beginning before I get tired of it all?
Apparently, not so much. Maybe it's because I'm already tired. Or maybe I feel too far from my goal or the climb seems too difficult. You see, not only am I running my next half marathon in January, but I want to lose eight pounds before the race. I feel sloppy and pedestrian. Try running with a ten pound backpack and you'll understand a little better. Heavy equals slow for me. Back in the day, I ran at 110. I'm now 123 and not nearly as fast. Some of that may be my advanced age, but I truly believe that it has a lot to do with weight. My theory is that if I lose the weight, I'll be faster and better able to cover longer distances easier. Oh, and by late April, I want to lose an additional five pounds so I'm back at 110 for the marathon distance.
Ok, so there it is in a nutshell. I have these goals which require these other goals. I could probably start training for the half marathon in late December and be able to finish with a decent enough time. However, if I want to lose weight before hand, I need to start now. This means I need to be motivated now. Like right now. Instead of sitting here writing this, I should be getting ready to run before work. Argh. When does the tired and tired of it go away? I'm guessing that it's not going to.
The good thing about 'tired'? Temptation is less tempting. It requires energy and I'm fresh out. Well, now there's a positive. Sort of.
~ Luke 22:40
Can I get an 'Amen'? I'm on Day 3 and I can't say I'm struggling, but I'm not skipping along with confidence either. I'm tired - just plain tired and tired of it. I feel like I've been doing this awhile now and I have, with piss poor results. That's why while on vacation (never a good time to plan anything, by the way) I took a cold, hard look at the landscape of my life and decided I needed a change. I've gained nearly eight pounds in the last year, most of them in the last six months. After I started running. I don't quite understand that very frustrating connection, but needless to say the weight gain has to stop.
Two weeks before my vacation (a horrid time to make changes, by the way), I made a few changes. I cut back on a couple random excesses that had become habits - no more french vanilla creamer in my convenience store coffee and no more donuts. Unfortunately such minor changes did little to help given that I spent the majority of the subsequent weekends out of town and unwilling to focus on healthful eating. No creamer is a drop in the bucket compared to hanging out with friends who own a pizza restaurant. Yeah so... I'm back to square one. Sort of. I do have to say my new habits have taken hold so at least my mornings are a bit easier and less caloricly intense.
Here's the crazy thing - Weeks before any of this came into my consciousness, including the weight gain, I cut way back on fast food and drinking. I had re-started my running career and all that just didn't seem to mix well. It wasn't to lose weight, but I had kind of thought I might lose a little. After all, both add a lot of icky, unhealthy calories and their absence should have created some sort of deficit, right? Wrong.
I'm heavier than I've been in years and unhappy. Granted I'm still not 'fat' by most people's standards, but if I don't take action I'll get there. Remember that most overweight people haven't always been that way. Once upon a time they were just a little unhappy about how they looked and felt and did nothing. Fast forward a few years and they're trying out for 'The Biggest Loser'. I don't want to let it get that far. I sense a pattern forming and I really want to change that pattern before it gets too bad. Yes, there are worse things than being overweight (and truthfully I'm a good distance away), but I am intensely interested in my long-term health. My recent physical shows that I am in impeccably good shape. I simply want to be this way when I'm eighty. And still running half-marathons.
Which brings me to my next point. On my vacation, I decided to run my next half marathon in January and my first marathon in nearly two decades in late April. I made the official unofficial announcement yesterday. A friend who competes in Ironman distance triathlons told me that they key to staying focused is to have a solidly established goal - announce it to a crowd or pay for a race. Once you've done those things, you'll feel more motivated to train. Thanks, Josh... Let me sit quiet for a moment. Yeah... it's not working (yet). Of course that was just yesterday and there may still be hope for me. But really shouldn't my motivation be highest in the beginning before I get tired of it all?
Apparently, not so much. Maybe it's because I'm already tired. Or maybe I feel too far from my goal or the climb seems too difficult. You see, not only am I running my next half marathon in January, but I want to lose eight pounds before the race. I feel sloppy and pedestrian. Try running with a ten pound backpack and you'll understand a little better. Heavy equals slow for me. Back in the day, I ran at 110. I'm now 123 and not nearly as fast. Some of that may be my advanced age, but I truly believe that it has a lot to do with weight. My theory is that if I lose the weight, I'll be faster and better able to cover longer distances easier. Oh, and by late April, I want to lose an additional five pounds so I'm back at 110 for the marathon distance.
Ok, so there it is in a nutshell. I have these goals which require these other goals. I could probably start training for the half marathon in late December and be able to finish with a decent enough time. However, if I want to lose weight before hand, I need to start now. This means I need to be motivated now. Like right now. Instead of sitting here writing this, I should be getting ready to run before work. Argh. When does the tired and tired of it go away? I'm guessing that it's not going to.
The good thing about 'tired'? Temptation is less tempting. It requires energy and I'm fresh out. Well, now there's a positive. Sort of.
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