Fighting Procrastination with Procrastination
I am currently procrastinating. Procrastinating what? Not writing, per se. I did, however, do that most of the morning. When I found myself downloading Miley Cyrus songs and reading the Wikipedia article on Colin Hanks, I knew I'd reached a whole new level of procrastination. I also knew that I had to stop. Even if it meant writing about procrastination.
I intended to write something important, maybe even meaningful, today. I have some really good thoughts in my head about Jesus and, given that it's Sunday, I thought it would be the perfect day to write them. I had it going really well in the shower, but when it came time to actually write my ideas down, I made lunch (a lean pocket and Oriental-flavored ramen noodles). And after doing my lunch dishes, I decided to write this.
By my count, I've spent the past six months procrastinating writing in general and the past three years procrastinating writing anything truly challenging (read: fiction). Moving to Austin threw me off, at least that's what I'm going to claim (though don't make me raise my right hand and swear an oath or anything). I loved my office in the house on Burma Road in Wake Village. It's where I spent most of my time. The chair could be uncomfortable if I sat there too long, which I often did. I kept the blinds closed most of the time, even though I could have enjoyed a decent view of the backyard (including but not limited to the Big Red Shed). I was in a cocoon of serenity and creativity and I loved it. Incidentally, as with most things of value in life, I didn't know how much I loved it until I left it. Now in Austin, I have struggled to find a place to write. In addition to missing my office, I have dealt with blotchy Internet access at one of my residences and a computer that worked inconsistently (Please note that some, though not all, of my recent hiatus was due to my laptop being under the care of the Geeks at Best Buy. A new motherboard and hard drive later, I should be ready to go).
It would seem that I am out of excuses. I am in a new and improved living situation. I have a computer that works and a steady flow of wireless Internet. I wish I had an office and a desk, but that will have to wait until I get my own space and my own place. For now, I'm going to have to be adaptable, which will probably help my writing in the long run. In Texarkana, I was so tied to my office that I seldom wrote anywhere else. Occasionally I'd drag my journal out to the lake or to Chicken Express (yes, really), but those moments were few and far between. And immediately followed by a re-write in my office. So now, I am forced to write in what me and my chaos-phobic brain consider nothing less than bedlam. I guess if I can create here, I can create anywhere.
If I can just stop procrastinating. I need to get down to business and do more than just blog about procrastination and sex dreams. I have three ideas for novels and one very good premise for a short story. Have I started on any of that? No. No. No. And no. I can tell you why. It's very simple - fear. I have spent a good bit of time recently being afraid of everything I think I can't do. Like get back in shape for tennis, run more than two miles, and write meaningful fiction. Instead I need to celebrate what I can do. I know if I focus I can get back in great tennis shape, including being able to run long distances. I also know that I have spent my entire life writing amazing stories in my head. It's time to take a chance and put them 'on paper' so they can be read.
I have a gift. I know I do. I can write. I've always written. Some say I do it pretty well. I know I can do it better. It's time to fight my fears, stop procrastinating, and push myself. Or let someone else push me. If I can come up with the money, I'm going to take my first creative writing class since high school. It's just at Austin Community College, but it's a start. All I need is a start, an end to the procrastination. And hey, if it turns out I suck, what's the worst that happens? I go back to blogging about meaningless crap and downloading Miley Cyrus songs? Yeah, I know. I hope I'm good at this, too.
I intended to write something important, maybe even meaningful, today. I have some really good thoughts in my head about Jesus and, given that it's Sunday, I thought it would be the perfect day to write them. I had it going really well in the shower, but when it came time to actually write my ideas down, I made lunch (a lean pocket and Oriental-flavored ramen noodles). And after doing my lunch dishes, I decided to write this.
By my count, I've spent the past six months procrastinating writing in general and the past three years procrastinating writing anything truly challenging (read: fiction). Moving to Austin threw me off, at least that's what I'm going to claim (though don't make me raise my right hand and swear an oath or anything). I loved my office in the house on Burma Road in Wake Village. It's where I spent most of my time. The chair could be uncomfortable if I sat there too long, which I often did. I kept the blinds closed most of the time, even though I could have enjoyed a decent view of the backyard (including but not limited to the Big Red Shed). I was in a cocoon of serenity and creativity and I loved it. Incidentally, as with most things of value in life, I didn't know how much I loved it until I left it. Now in Austin, I have struggled to find a place to write. In addition to missing my office, I have dealt with blotchy Internet access at one of my residences and a computer that worked inconsistently (Please note that some, though not all, of my recent hiatus was due to my laptop being under the care of the Geeks at Best Buy. A new motherboard and hard drive later, I should be ready to go).
It would seem that I am out of excuses. I am in a new and improved living situation. I have a computer that works and a steady flow of wireless Internet. I wish I had an office and a desk, but that will have to wait until I get my own space and my own place. For now, I'm going to have to be adaptable, which will probably help my writing in the long run. In Texarkana, I was so tied to my office that I seldom wrote anywhere else. Occasionally I'd drag my journal out to the lake or to Chicken Express (yes, really), but those moments were few and far between. And immediately followed by a re-write in my office. So now, I am forced to write in what me and my chaos-phobic brain consider nothing less than bedlam. I guess if I can create here, I can create anywhere.
If I can just stop procrastinating. I need to get down to business and do more than just blog about procrastination and sex dreams. I have three ideas for novels and one very good premise for a short story. Have I started on any of that? No. No. No. And no. I can tell you why. It's very simple - fear. I have spent a good bit of time recently being afraid of everything I think I can't do. Like get back in shape for tennis, run more than two miles, and write meaningful fiction. Instead I need to celebrate what I can do. I know if I focus I can get back in great tennis shape, including being able to run long distances. I also know that I have spent my entire life writing amazing stories in my head. It's time to take a chance and put them 'on paper' so they can be read.
I have a gift. I know I do. I can write. I've always written. Some say I do it pretty well. I know I can do it better. It's time to fight my fears, stop procrastinating, and push myself. Or let someone else push me. If I can come up with the money, I'm going to take my first creative writing class since high school. It's just at Austin Community College, but it's a start. All I need is a start, an end to the procrastination. And hey, if it turns out I suck, what's the worst that happens? I go back to blogging about meaningless crap and downloading Miley Cyrus songs? Yeah, I know. I hope I'm good at this, too.
You mentioned writing about Jesus because it was Sunday, moving to Austin, and writing fiction? or was it non-fiction. Anyway, I moved to Round Rock in 1987. On the day I moved there, the first thing I saw on TV was a special news cast about the largest Satanic group in the world being in the Georgetown, Round Rock, Pflugerville, New Braunfells area. They were arresting a man and putting him on an airplane. He and others were being charged with satanic human sacrifices of small children.
ReplyDeleteAt the local grocery store that my husband managed, children would come in with names like Lucifer, Satan, Belzebar etc and several young girls and their mothers wore full length black cloaks with head cowls while shopping. Can't tell you how creepy it was there.
There are miles upon miles of limestone caverns below the ground and supposedly that is where most of the satanic meetings take place.
Just thought that since you were in Austin, a Christian and a writer, it might be something to research and write about.
Frankly, I never slept well a single night while there as I had two young children and with the prevelance of Satanism, Luciferian and Dark Pagan Gathering, I didn't trust anyone in what was then a very small town. (I understand it isn't now) We asked for a transfer as soon as possible and I was never so glad to get out of a place as there.
Interesting... I may look into that. However, I think I need to clarify one point. I am not a Christian. I currently consider myself a non-Christian seeker. I am a proponent of Jesus, just not a follower of the religion named for him.
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