That Niggling Voice

I feel like I should write tonight, so I'm writing. I haven't posted much at all this month. Granted the semester started two weeks ago and I've been kind of taken up with that. Frankly writing is the absolute last thing I want to do when I'm finally done doing all the things I need to do. I used to love it and I suppose I still do. It's just that... Well, my brain and body are both on overload, and writing takes most of one and a little of another (I'll leave it to the reader to figure out which is which). Needless to say, my intrinsic motivation is nearly non-existent. I wish the same could be said for the extrinsic. Sadly, even though I'm currently exhausted, I still hear that niggling voice of obligation - 'You started this blog. You need to post something'. Ugh... Yes, you're right, Niggling Voice. Dammit.

When I get like this I usually resort to a Top Ten List. It kills two birds with one stone, so to speak. I get an easy (enough) post and make my best friend happy. Nifty, I think. Will I make it all the way to ten tonight? I guess we'll have to let that be the great mystery that keeps the readers reading [Don't spoil it by scrolling down].

1. Doppelgangers can be confusing, especially when it involves one of the great loves of your life.  You'll see her and be reminded of her. So much that you'll have to remind yourself who is who... and who is not who. Each and every time, your heart and soul will jump a little. At least mine do.

2. When growing your hair out, you'll be taken aback when new friends, who never knew you when you used to shave your head, say things like, 'I didn't recognize you with your hair up'. Funny because you probably won't recognize yourself with your hair down.

3. If a friend 'date' asks to sleep with you is it really a friend 'date'? The easiest way to avoid this uneasiness is to have friend 'dates' with straight people. You think. You hope. Or do you?

4. Saying that you don't read in a room full of writers is tantamount to saying that you're an atheist in a room full of believers.

5. Achieving some kind of Zen state while working out is a lot easier when you're in shape.

6. You may say that you don't do yoga no matter how pretty she is, but that theory will be shot to Hell when a cute guy suggests that you take a class together.

7. Getting two days off a week is appreciably different that getting a 'weekend', no matter what two days IN A ROW you have off.

8. Going to your first major pro tennis event in over two decades will have you so excited for Spring Break that you'll start counting down the days (currently 38). You'll also say a small prayer to a god you only marginally believe in that your favorite player will make it to the fourth round (which she should but often doesn't) because that's the day you bought tickets for.

9. Finding out a friend is getting married will nearly have you in tears with excitement and momentarily make you like the idea of marriage. For him. Not you.

10. Exhaustion and obligation are never good writing partners. See the above nine line items for details.

Whew... I made it. Barely.

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