Glory and Grace 2011 Style
I'm writing what may be my last 'blog' of 2011. I'm a little stuck this morning. Yes, I want to be writing, but I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to rise to the occasion. Last night I wrote once again about 'fuck-nuts'. I most certainly don't want that to be my final commentary of the year. That's why I'm up early (that and I couldn't sleep for whatever reason), sitting here, and hoping something significant comes to me.
2011 was a good year. I wrote well and (self) published my first book. I re-started my running career and won a couple races. I changed jobs (within the four walls of The Worlds Largest Home Improvement Retailer) and re-found my calling as an advocate for my co-workers. I made the painful decision to rent out my house in Wake Village and the happy decision to move my dogs to Austin. I started the year a newly minted Christian and ended it with a deeper spiritual connection to God than I ever thought possible. I made new friends and missed old ones. I passed the first anniversary of my mental break and near suicide attempt and found myself happier than I'd been in years. I learned how to lay laminate flooring and that it's best to wear a full body suit when operating a paint sprayer. I added more to my Bucket List ('Compete in a triathlon' and 'Run races in all 50 states') than I scratched off ('publish book'). I lost gray hair, but had to get bifocal glasses (which I absolutely love). I went on a few dates and decided that alone and single is by far my preferred state. I stopped taking the Anti-Everything Pills and I've been living unbelievably drug-free for three months. More than anything, though, I will remember 2011 as the year that I fell deeper in love with myself.
I'm proud of me and what I accomplished this year. While nothing momentous in the grander scheme, I ended the year as happy as I started it. For me, that is something. It could have been the year that I finished a half Ironman triathlon or first appeared on the New York Times Best Seller List and I would still say that 'Happy' was my greatest accomplishment.
These days my happiness directly relates to my relationship with God. I am at peace which for me means happiness. God brings me that peace and assures me that if I place my focus in the right place it will always be there. So where is it that I must focus? On Him, me, and the energy that binds us all together as One. Love is all there is - Love for the self, Love for God, and Love for each other. That focus, that energy, brings peace and happiness, not just to me, but for all who believe and place their trust in God.
So what will 2012 bring? I plan to scratch a few states off my Bucket List, run my first marathon in nearly two decades, and finish a triathlon for starters. I'm also going to self-publish my second book and make progress on the novel I started almost three years ago. Maybe 2012 will be the year I end up on the NYT Best Seller List, promote my book on 'Ellen', hook up with Ashley Judd, and/or win the lottery. Maybe I'll donate part of my liver to a friend or finally get called to donate my bone marrow. Maybe the Padres will win the World Series and Michigan will snatch the national championship away from the SEC. There's really no telling at this point.
Regardless what happens, I know a few things. I will continue to love myself and God and share that love with others. I will celebrate God's glory and BE His grace. I will experience God's grace and BE His glory. Above all, I will hold onto the peace in my soul and be happy. If I can do that, 2012 promises to be my best year yet.
2011 was a good year. I wrote well and (self) published my first book. I re-started my running career and won a couple races. I changed jobs (within the four walls of The Worlds Largest Home Improvement Retailer) and re-found my calling as an advocate for my co-workers. I made the painful decision to rent out my house in Wake Village and the happy decision to move my dogs to Austin. I started the year a newly minted Christian and ended it with a deeper spiritual connection to God than I ever thought possible. I made new friends and missed old ones. I passed the first anniversary of my mental break and near suicide attempt and found myself happier than I'd been in years. I learned how to lay laminate flooring and that it's best to wear a full body suit when operating a paint sprayer. I added more to my Bucket List ('Compete in a triathlon' and 'Run races in all 50 states') than I scratched off ('publish book'). I lost gray hair, but had to get bifocal glasses (which I absolutely love). I went on a few dates and decided that alone and single is by far my preferred state. I stopped taking the Anti-Everything Pills and I've been living unbelievably drug-free for three months. More than anything, though, I will remember 2011 as the year that I fell deeper in love with myself.
I'm proud of me and what I accomplished this year. While nothing momentous in the grander scheme, I ended the year as happy as I started it. For me, that is something. It could have been the year that I finished a half Ironman triathlon or first appeared on the New York Times Best Seller List and I would still say that 'Happy' was my greatest accomplishment.
These days my happiness directly relates to my relationship with God. I am at peace which for me means happiness. God brings me that peace and assures me that if I place my focus in the right place it will always be there. So where is it that I must focus? On Him, me, and the energy that binds us all together as One. Love is all there is - Love for the self, Love for God, and Love for each other. That focus, that energy, brings peace and happiness, not just to me, but for all who believe and place their trust in God.
So what will 2012 bring? I plan to scratch a few states off my Bucket List, run my first marathon in nearly two decades, and finish a triathlon for starters. I'm also going to self-publish my second book and make progress on the novel I started almost three years ago. Maybe 2012 will be the year I end up on the NYT Best Seller List, promote my book on 'Ellen', hook up with Ashley Judd, and/or win the lottery. Maybe I'll donate part of my liver to a friend or finally get called to donate my bone marrow. Maybe the Padres will win the World Series and Michigan will snatch the national championship away from the SEC. There's really no telling at this point.
Regardless what happens, I know a few things. I will continue to love myself and God and share that love with others. I will celebrate God's glory and BE His grace. I will experience God's grace and BE His glory. Above all, I will hold onto the peace in my soul and be happy. If I can do that, 2012 promises to be my best year yet.
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